Returning to Middle-Earth
by Nimril
Summary: I never thought that I would end up this way...trapped between two worlds, and never really know which one is real. Trapped between two hearts. I loved him once but it made me helpless. So I choosed another over him, but still I have to learn that I can not deny my true self. No matter what I feel, I have to help my friends to get through this journey and reclaim their home.
1. Reality?

Pleasant warm caressed my face through the bus window, as I listened to my favorite tracks on my way to the workplace.

The usual bus routes, the usual workplace, the familiar faces, as always…..since…then. A sudden braking woke me up from my thoughts and made me notice that I have arrived.

Lazily I got off the bus and went to work. When I pushed the front doors open of my office I felt a very familiar feeling, which I haven't felt in a long time. Like someone's watching me. The ringing of my phone distracted my attention, so I did not even care on account of the bad feeling. It was Mark, my fiancé.

"Hello! Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"Hi…. What?...No, no I just wanted to tell you that Peter just called, and invited us to the pub for some drinks after work. What should I say?" Oh great, another Peter hang out I thought to myself. I took a deep sigh as my fingers massaged my temples for relief and I just had to remind him of my appointment afternoon.

"You know that I have an appointment after work at Dr. Larson!" I pointed out a bit angrily that he forgot my meeting again.

"Oh…true…..sorry.." After he paused and I instantly knew what were about to come, but before he asked I just smiled for myself and said.

"But you can go by yourself…you're old enough to bear another hangover in one week." I laughed.

"Just go, and take the advantage that I'm not there giving you monologues about drinking too much." I told him, and suddenly my colleagues just rushed into the previously empty office. While I was listening to Mark's cheers, I just gave them a big nod as a greeting, and slowly I walked to my desk, sat down and said my goodbye's to him.

"Don't tell me he is going out with Peter again!" I heard behind my back. I didn't have to look back to know who it was.

"But yes…Sandra…he is…, but I don't mind."- I admitted to my best friend, and favorite colleague. An involuntary smile spread across my face as I remembered why I was so eager to see my therapist. Suddenly like she knew what's got my attention she smiled widely for me.

"So it is the end?" she asked. I just simply nodded and laughed at her happy reaction.

"It is the final treatment, before I become legally healthy, and don't have to go to my psychologist unless I am about to meet some UFO next day. " I barked out laughing. But that laugh was not sincere, and as I have noticed that I just lifted my green eyes to met Sandra's knowing one's, and she reached my hand on my desk and gently squeezed it. I pulled my hair bun out of my auburn hair so that my long, wavy locks hid my face as well as my tears.

" I know how hard it was for you living in a hospital room for years." She told me quietly. She was one of the few people , who knows exactly what happened with me when I was very young, and had a very bad, wild, imaginary life. It wasn't that bad when I was just a little kid, but as I got older I still had daydreams about a certain world which was not real.

"But it's over now, and your okay! You're going to get married in a few months and having a great life after with that bastard." We both giggled at her compliment for my fiancé. And I know she was right. I have great friends now. Not many, but they accepted me for who I am and what I've been through. And there was Mark. After all he is a kind person who was beside me during the whole recovery since I was 18. He was one of the residents who examined me back at the hospital. We get very close friends and much more after that. A sudden phone ringing get me out of my past memories. Silently I said sorry to Sandra, and picked my phone up.

"Book publishing, it's Lintris!" So my working day is already started.

I was very young only 3 when my grandpa started to telling me bedtime stories of a different world, where dwarves, elves, trolls and so many other creatures lived. But I've never thought that I should end up this way, I thought to myself. Maybe that is why I started to work at a book publisher. After all these years I've never get bored of great stories. But the same cannot be sad about adventures. I used to love to go on adventures, but after the treatment I usually just get along with normal things. Besides, it's just good to have a computable life.

The time passed so quickly that I found myself walking to Dr. Larson's office, smiling and almost feeling free. I eagerly stepped into the waiting room, but haven't got the time to sit down, while the receptionist called my name and told me to get in the office, but I have to wait fo a few minutes while the doctor is on his way. It was weird going in someone's office without the person who owns it, but I just shrugged my shoulders and got in. I hung up my spring coat and bag, and sat down on the same sofa as always with my back to the door. Lazily I just looked around one last time to say my mental goodbyes to the details of this office when I heard the door opened.

"Hello Dr. Larson, I'm looking forward for our last meeting, as…." I started to said and I turned my back to face him unless it was someone I haven't expected. As my gaze locked with his I froze, and couldn't believe my own eyes. My mind become blurry with long lost emotions and fears. I couldn't tear my eyes off of him so he took the opportunity and got closer.

"Hello my dear!..."He said with a shaking voice. "It's been a long time …" Finishing his greetings he just kneeled before me and cupped my face in his old palms, so that I didn't have any other choice now then to look at him. Opening my lashes slightly I slowly met his knowing blue eyes and stared at him. He hasn't changed a bit. He was the same old himself with mischievous eyes, cryptic words, and gray clothes.

"It isn't real." I whispered more for myself than to him, and slowly I pulled his hands away from my face, to stand up and put some distance between us. He didn't dare to talk to me, and I could see deep sorrow in his eyes. I took his silence as a chance to get rid of my sickening thoughts.

"I'm so sorry!" he told me finally. I just looked into those deep blue eyes and laughed hysterically, and started to shake my head.

"No, no ,no…. It can't be true. You're nothing more than a bad memory,…a nightmare." I cried out harshly. He started to getting closer to comfort me, but I held my hand high between us. Seeing this he desperately stared at me.

"Me..a nightmare…No. You know exactly that I am as real such as your are. That the places, the adventures, even your friends were real. …." I started to get to my things and trying to leave this madness, while my mind is working but suddenly he gripped my arm. And that was it I was shaking now, and tears started to fill my eyes, as I lifted my miserable gaze to meet his. He looked at me with those examining blue eyes, and tried to find something that's probably not longer there.

"He needs you!..." Gandalf told me as I take a deep breath.


	2. Which one is the worst?

**_First of all I'd like to thank you guys for add my first english fanfiction to your favorites, It means a lot to me. So thank you very much N_**

"He needs you!"…. These words just echoed in my mind as I tried to force back a sudden memory about a pair of piercing blue eyes. I gasped for air and grabbed the wall before me for some support. I blinked several times, before I could think of what I've just heard. He was standing close behind my back, and started to take deep, calming breaths.

"It's just a dream…..you are not real…it must be my minds doing.." I whispered over, and over again, but it was useless, and he stood so close that he could hear my mumbling, and got angry.

"But I am real…you silly girl! Don't turn your back on me like I was a ghost!" He growled. And that was it. The point of no return. Even though I tried so hard to focus on something, anything that can help me calm my nerves, a boiling anger filled my heart and in one blink I moved in front of the old wizard. Cause I know, despite the gray suit which he wears to fit in my world, it was still him. A stared at him angrily.

"You…..only came back to me because you need my help!- I spat in his face fully aware of my new thunderous mood, it was not a question. It was a statement, and I saw his anger turned into fear.

But I didn't stop. Couldn't stop now. I have so many forced back, sad memories of my past from the hospital, where these people pushed me into, that I started to yell at him.

"Where have you been when my parents abandoned me and dragged me to the mad house, just because I was too old to have such an imagination about different living creatures like elves?" He swallowed hard, but didn't dare to look elsewhere as I started to circle around him as a wild cat.

"Where were you when I was screaming every single night at that godforsaken place because of my nightmares, …..cried my very soul out for help…..for your help?

"Where were you when I was alone with my belief that my adventures were true and real?

"Where were you when they forced me to take so many pills and became so numb that I couldn't feel my own heartbeat and couldn't remember where and who I was. I was nothing more than an empty shell." Slowly I started to calm dawn again. His eyes were gleaming with tears now and I got closer to stand in front of him, so that my nose was only inches away from his.

"Where were you…..when I needed your help?" I asked him quietly and crying as well. He just closed his eyes and sighed. It took me a few second to came back to my senses and sat down on the sofa staring at him. Finally he managed to look me in the eye again, and waited for me to continue. So I did.

"No, Gandalf! I will not go back there, cause I have to stop this." I motioned my hand between us.

"I know what you've been through was a real hardship, but dear Lintris…you should get back with me! It is not just your life what can be ruined, but whole Middle-Earth is in a great need of a new hero who can change the outcome of the events. It's up to you to show who you really are." He glared at me and his hardened gaze bore into mine as he wanted to give credit for his words with this act.

"Do you know how many times have I told myself that you were just a dream?" I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"I can't just act on this request like when I was 8 years old. I have a new life now..I'm, going to get married." He frowned at me and his eyes got suspicious if my words were really true, then he just nodded.

"If a marriage is what you want so be it….." He sad slowly and took a seat in front of me, but I've got a feeling that his words meant more and a mischievous glint shone in his eyes as if he knew something that he not willing to share with me soon.

"Maybe a marriage would be a good solution." He stated, but I was not sure if I can understand his new mood change about the new details of my life. There was silence between us. Neither of us wanted to start a fight again, so I just kept my mouth shut. But as I calmed down I just knelt before him and took his hand in mine. It was a strange feeling. I smiled at the touch. It was definitely real. The warmth, the scratches on his hand. I lifted my gaze to met his and brush his face with my thumb as I reached out for him to test the reality of this crazy situation. I smiled gently at him, as my old memories of our history crushed back from the dark place where I've forced them. He just stared at me with wonder and didn't know how to act.

"It looks like you are really here for me this time." I managed to say. He brushed my knuckles with his hand and smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked like an old man, tired of the world around him, but he stood up and walked to the window.

"I know how hard it was for you. But you should understand that every event here and back in my world has it's own purpose. Maybe you should just change the perspectives and you' ll see. Nothing happened with you without any reason. It might look cruel and selfish, but you are a part of a bigger plan than you've ever imagined. When you first have arrived in Middle-Earth. I hardly understood why it happened. But your grandfather was so determined to show you around. He find peace back in our land and he wanted to share it with you. His only mistake was not telling you how to cope with this situation." He turned his face back from the outside view to me and continued.

"Have you ever imagined how that painter was capable of painting our history and gave it back to your world so realistically?..." He paused for a moment. "He never doubted your grandfather like you did now." He said with a stern tone, and my heart ached for my long gone dearly loved grandfather. I remembered him having a very loyal painter friend, who felt in love with Middle-Earth and its creatures, so he took every opportunity to listen to my grandpa telling stories of that land. He painted some of them by heart and one picture was my favorite with a certain prince on it. Gandalf's voice woke me up from my daydreaming.

"Your grandfather told him.., told his best friend stories of our land, and of our adventures. You might think that these are just fairy tales, but my dear…have you ever considered the fact how you came by that certain scar on your hand? Cause I do remember when you got it, because I was the one who tended it." He pointed his finger right on my left palm. I was confused now. Was it really happening to me? Am I truly talking to Gandalf the gray again? Was this whole madness true? I couldn't tell. But I should get some fresh air before I faint and as I was heading to the door he stood before be.

"Where is the girl who was eager to go on a new adventure?" He asked worriedly.

"She'd grown up. I just wish that those creatures were all dead. " I told him dryly. I put on my coat and grabbed for the door handle when a sudden pleading look and a question stopped me.

"Imagine if you suddenly learned that the people you knew back there, the places, the moments most important to you _w_ ere not gone,... not dead _..._." he pushed the conversation further.

"…But worse..." He looked into my green eyes as if to try and find something what is long gone from them,but I just shook my head and turned to the door before me ignoring him.

"..they had never been?...Which was the worst?" He finished and my heart skipped a beat in that moment.


	3. Memories

As I turned my head to look into his eyes again, he was no longer there. I moved my gaze over the room thinking, where the hell could he gone? I hate him when he disappears like this. But I was left alone in my therapists room, with the only question in the world which I have no proper answer right away as I usually did since I became a grown and strong-minded woman. But my hand was still on the door handle, so when it moved a little under my grip I just jumped up a bit in surprise, as my therapists head peeped in the room. He looked at me uncomprehendingly in his door.

"Miss Finikas !" He said astonished.

"Aren't you supposed wait for me in the waiting room?" He asked gently. I stepped back, and stared at him.

"Your receptionist suggested that I can wait you here in your office." And I peeked my head through the door to find the girl who told me that, looked right back at me with apologetic smile and hurried to us.

"Actually I did Dr….I'm sorry." She said avoiding our eyes. And Dr. Larson pat her kindly on the shoulder.

"No harm done!" He said chuckling and motioned me to get back in his office. But as I came to my senses I shook my head and ask him if we could delay this appointment for another time. He just nodded uncertainly and moved out of my way. I already have my coat on, grabbed my bag and wave them goodbye before I run out in haste for some fresh air. I stepped into the afternoon sun, my knees week, but I managed to straighten myself and started to walk to the nearby park. It felt like hours passed since I've talked to my old friend, but now standing in the sunlight, warm and nice it felt like a dream again. I just sat on a bench staring before me.

"Imagine if you suddenly learned that the people you knew back there, the places, the moments most important to you _w_ ere not gone,... not dead _..._.!" I heard the wizards words in my head, over and over again.

"…But worse" I gasped slightly remembering what is about to come.

"..they had never been?"

"Which was the worst?"I said out loud for myself. Just after a few seconds I've noticed some warm moisture on myface, and I realized I was crying silently. Something in my heart told me to start to believe in miracles again, stop thinking too much, and therefore I know the proper answer for that question. But I was not shure of myself. I've gone through so much pain over loosing my family, friends almost everything which were dear for me because of my mental illness, so that I don't want to fuck up my life again whit this. I have become strong, independent woman with Marc's attentive care. I don't want to loose my new life. But what Gandalf just said to me make things harder. While I was in Middle-Earth, I used to stay near the old Wizard according to my grandpa's orders. And by this I came to meet the elves, the ents, people of Dale, and the dwarves of Erebor. I've learned so much back there. As I was getting older the elves thought me how to fight with elven blades, and arrows. The elven lord of Rivendell became a second father to me and spent great amount of time of his, just to teach me the best pronunciation of elven words. As these memories of my past adventures flowed to my mind I laughed to myself. It was funny how easily these things showed up again in front of me like I just left Erebor yesterday. Cause Erebor was the other place where my education delivered me. I had to learn diplomacy against other races. I was just human, but I had to find the balance between my love for the elves and my interests for the dwarves. They were amazing creatures of all races in my eyes. They made extremely beautiful craft works from gold and other metals. I was eager to learn how to craft a simple bead with my tiny hands, but according to my age I was just too little in their eyes. In dwarven culture women are very rare and precious. So the only fact that saved my life living around dwarves was my being a little girl. I was invited by the great king's son Thrain to live in their mountain so I can see for myself how they lived. It was a very interesting experience since the time past different in my world and my family back home haven't even recognized my absence. Soon I become great friends with Prince Thrain's little dwarfling Frerin.

Once when we played around the fields of Erebor I just stumbled and fall. My ankle twitched and I could hardly stand up by myself. I was about to yell after my playmates,but they were to far to hear me. So it was only me who could save myself. I managed to stand up with a loud squeak and slowly limped to the gates of the mountain. As I was on my way back I haven't noticed that from behind I was grabbed by someone and lifted to bridal style and I instinctively embrace his neck.

"Don't worry _Mimur_! I'm here." I suddenly stared at my hero, who was no other dwarf then Thorin himself. He looked into my green eyes and gave me a shy smile. That was the first smile he shared with me. And I found it gorgeous, but as I've came to my senses I asked him.

"What did you just call me?" Cause since their language was a great secret unfortunately I was not able to learn Khuzdul. His smile vanished and stopped immediately. He looked confused and I was getting angry with the lack of my answer. His eyes narrowed and he pressed his lips into a thin line. I could tell about his face that he was brooding between telling me or not.

"Tiny" He said simply and I was mortified by his word. Before he could be aware of what was about to come, I slap him hard on his face.

"Let me down!" I yelled at him angrily. How can he call me tiny. Maybe I was just 9 by then, but anyway, he supposed to be a good host for his guest. While he was so shocked by my behavior, and he still holded me in a tight grip, I just grabbed his ear and bit his earlobe for good. At this sudden attack against his ear he almost dropped me down, but I managed to balance myself from his arms and started my struggling back to my bedchamber by myself. As I reached my doors on my bed was sitting no else than Frerin , who rushed to me and hugged me.

"I was so worried. One second you were next to me and the other you were nowhere. Dis and I thought that you were so fast and ran ached so that we tried to catch up." He shift his gaze down on my unbalanced legs and noticed that I draged my ankle.

"What happened?" I was so embarrassed about my new title that I blurted out the first thing that annoyed me.

"He called me Tiny." I said. Frerin looked at me in confusion.

"Who are you talking about? I asked you about your ankle." He told me gently.

"Thorin…he lifted me up when I tried to get back to Erebor..and he called me Tiny." I pouted. He laughed hard and embrace my shoulders. Gently he carried me to my bed and tend my twitched ankle while I told him my story. When he finished his friendly grey eyes bore into mine and stroke my hands sweetly.

"He just gave you a very kind pet name, and wanted to carry you back here. And you just behaved like a spoiled elven princess." He said mockingly.

"I think an apology is needed between the two of you." He told me in a stern tone.

"I'm not a spoiled elven princess. …." I started, but as I see the determination in his eyes I gave in and nod.

"…but you are right, I must apologize for my behavior. By the way..do you know were could he be?" He gave me a warm smile, and helped me stand on my feet. Ha escorted me to the training hall and pointed on the back of a lonely, half naked dwarf teenager, slashing the air in front of him. I gulped at the scene and tried so hard to straighten myself, and I turned to look at my friend once more for some support, but Frerin was gone. I was nervous what to do next. As I recognized that he haven't noticed my presence and I was still a bit angry for his pet name he gave me, a sudden idea came to my mind. After I have arrived to Erebor the dwarflings father was eager to show me everything in their kingdom. He was much open minded than his father, and I can tell that Thorin was just like his grandfather. Thrain heard that I have learned how to handle an elven blade, so in his opinion since I was their royal guest I got the opportunity to learn to fight with dwarven blades. It was a big honour for me so I accepted. But my trainer was such a gruff dwarf that the lessons with the new, much heavier blades made me withdrawn. Dwalin was skeptical about by abilities so I started to doubt myself as well. But after each and every lesson I got better, and I could see a pale smile in the corner of his eyes after I managed to strike back. So I just grabbed the nearby blade right next to me and silently approached Thorins back. He must hear something cause with a sudden movement he swung his sword so fast that I had to act faster than I thought. In one blink our blades were crossed and he looked at me in disbelief. We stared each there for a while, and slowly put down our swords, but my hand gave in and the blade slid out of my grip. His strike was so hard that I was barely feeling my arm.

"You…" ha stared at me.

"Ouch" I whined and grabbed my arm." You could be a fierce warrior if you want." I stated. He blinked a few times but saw my movement and got closer. It scared me a bit. I thought that he would shout at me or, smack me for what I've done, so I tried to move back a little under his intense gaze.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior before" I gabbled out, but he took my arms in his hands and examined it carefully.

"Apology accepted…..I knew you were scared of me." Slowly he lift his mischievous eyes at me and gave me his half smile. I didn't expect that. I was shocked and more humiliated than with him calling me Mimur. And he gave me his half smile.

"Stop teasing me…I'm not scared of you." I laughed.

"Well …most of the time." I said smiling, and he chuckled.

"Shell we?" He motioned his hand back to the training spot for another round and I nod with a wide grin. That's how our relationship truly started.

I was laughing so hard on my memories of this act that a single teardrop left my eyes. The devastated look on his face was priceless when I was biting him. But after that incident we became close friends.

I've noticed as I took a deep breath of fresh air that the sun almost vanished under the horizon, and that I should go back home. I run for the bus, which carried me in front of our flat. I got down and searched for the keys in my bag, when I saw that our door was slightly open. I pushed gently and peaked in, but it's looked empty, and untouched. I grabbed my keys in a grip for defense and switched on the lights on my right. The view before me was incredible.

"Happy last treatment day!" Everyone shouted. Oh my god! I gasped.


	4. Decisions

I was so shocked to see my few true friends gathered around our kitchen table below a huge label with the „Happy last treatment day!" sentence on it. I managed to smoothed out my knee length cream colored, pleated skirt, and my white blouse, and combed my released hair with my fingers shyly as I faced the view before me. My feelings were so mixed up with emotionally sucked between good because Mark was there - obviously not with Peter in a nearby pub - which made my heart happy. But there was a rather bad feeling for not having my last treatment because a well known incident. My feelings were on my face for sure, as Mark came and joined me in our hall with an uncomprehending look on his features, and in his blue orbs.

"Hey…." He grabbed me and leaned in so his lips captured mine in a chaste kiss.

"What's wrong Honey?" He asked and pulled me into a hug. I haven't realized that I was speechless and everyone staring at me uncomfortably. Slowly I relaxed in his embrace and melted into him.

"Sorry….I just didn't expect that." I motioned to the gathering in our house." By the way…..thank you." I sad having a fake smile on my face as I approached to Sandra, after I softly brushed Mark's short black hair with my palm. Of course she was the one who really cared for me after all, even when my real family collapsed around me and there were no one left to care about my existence but the two of them. Some of Mark's friend were there as well and I hugged them one by one.

"Thank you for coming…" I said while I pick up some drink as well and lift it up for a toast to them.

"…let's party!" I cheered, and gulped down the whole glass of wine to gain some courage. Everyone clap their hand to my acting and followed me. I think only my fiancé and Sandra noticed my weird behavior, but didn't said a single word. After the toast I heard someone put on some music and I felt that Mark sneaked behind me, pulled me into him by my waist and started to dance slowly, so I was following his movements. He nuzzled into my neck and whispered.

"I don't know what happened, but if you care to share…I'm here." This sentence made my heart sing and I turned around to kiss him passionately - _oh… I love him deeply, even though I can not gave him my heart fully, but at least I tried, to do my best_ \- I thought to myself _…._ at least I tried to kiss him when his tweeter ranged in his pocket. Of course it was that silly device what makes my life miserable. Cause every time we were intimate someone called him back to the hospital. I looked him in the eye and sighed.

"Do you have to go?" I pouted. He smiled at me gently and gave me a peck on my cheek.

"You know I have to…after all you soon going to be a doctor's wife…you get used to it." He chuckled and spanked my butt. I snorted as he walked to say his goodbye's to everyone . Soon all the guests were gone and I hugged Sandra at our porch and thanked her for everything, but keep myself to the lie that I was truly over my last treatment. She was suspicious but I managed to smile every time she asked me if I was ok. She waved her hands as she walked away, and when she turned around the corner I blinked back some tears. I just stood there in front of our home's door and watch the night sky. It was still early for me to go to bed and I wanted to make myself useful while I wait for Mark's return. I get back to the house before I rolled my blouses sleeves up above my elbow and gathered the dishes and washed them. After that I got the laundry done, I started to hanged them outdoor at the backyard since it was a warm night. I tried to occupy my mind from the events earlier, but it turned out to be useless. My thought ever so lightly focused on the last thing Gandalf had told me that day. " _Imagine if you suddenly learned that the people you knew back there, the places, the moments most important to you were not gone,... not dead?..._." _…But worse..they had never been?_ I shook my head to clear my thoughts when suddenly I heard something or someone called for me quietly from our shed.

"Trisha" I stepped a few meters closer to the house and ignored the familiar male voice from behind. Maybe it was my minds doing. But then again it called for me.

"Trisha" _HIS_ voice was more clear this time and I rushed to the shed and grabbed the door handle. I take some deep breathes before opening the door slightly to peak in. As the interior came to my view my face falled, and my eyes became so wide that I was scared they would fell out. In front of me was none other than Hobbiton of Middle-Earth itself with it's remarkable beauty in sundown.

"Oh..my god" I gasped for air. It was more than 10 years now that I had the chance to see it's true beauty and the view was so remarkable. I was lost in it. I stepped further in so the whole place's atmosphere surrounded me fully. I closed my eyes before take in the wonderful smell of fresh grass under my high heels, and warm tears started to roll down my cheek. I remembered how I loved to walk through these fields of The Shire and suddenly as I take my time walking forward I saw my grandfather's old cottage at the end of the hill. I decided to run to it as best as my shoes let me and before in 5 minutes I was in front of the door of my childhood again. It was his shelter from our sick world he used to say, and it was our secret given him by the hobbits. Time was not so gracious on the little building, but I pushed the door open and walked in. It was warm and friendly caused by the early spring weather outside. Fortunately there was enough light thanked for the big windows. It allowed me to scanned every tiny details of the place. As I stepped deeper in my memories I gently brushed my fingers on the old furniture. My grandfather came here to take his old days in peace, and allowed me to came with him whenever I asked him to. He died when I was 16. I was hopeless after that, and it brought an unexpected incident with it. After he died I was never permitted to enter to Middle-Earth again, until now. Gandalf never really told me the reason why, and what happened after, you know well. I watched old items of his heritage with deep sorrow as my eyes landed on a small shining object. I take it in my hand to get a better look, and realized it was my handmade mithril hair clip I made back in Erebor. It was my first nicely crafted work, but the identical piece of it must be lost years ago. I brushed it clear with my thumb as I noticed my locks started to fall in my eyes so I just made it in a messy braided half updo with the clip and continued my search, when a great shadow blocked my light from behind.

"I thought you would be here…." Said a well known voice as I turned to face Gandalf's impish eyes from under his pointed gray hat. At least he is in his usually clothes again.

"Gandalf ..how is this possible?" I asked with trembled voice and motioned my hand around the place we stood. I started to step closer to him when suddenly I kicked my feet into some old picture frame. I shift my gaze to the object and crouched down for it. Picking it up slowly I recognized one of the painting which my grandpa's old painter friend made after their conversation of a certain handsome dwarf prince. It was almost perfect. Almost, except for his eyes. I rubbed my fingers on the surface of his features to clean it from dust, as my old wizard recognized that one of my fingers lingered a bit further on the prince's lips. I lift my eyes to his knowing, and now smiling face.

"It wasn't my doing… it was yours" He chuckled and pointed out his finger on me and then on the painting.

"But how?…." But no more sound than a whisper came out of me as I looked back at the dwarf's handsome features. He was so young then, with his raven black hair, and piercing blue eyes. His eyes were never gray like on this wrong painting. The painter made this when Thorin was around in his sixties.

"I told you long ago, that faith has it's own tricks with one's path. It looks like you two have to step on the same road once again…"He reached for the painting and took it from my hand so he can squeezed them gently.

"…..he truly needs you…believe me. Even though he doesn't know it yet. That is why you were able to come back. I must admit that I never thought it to happen, but an old wizard can be wrong after all. I ask you to put aside the events of your past and give this place a chance. " I wanted to protest, but as he sensed it, he embraced me and hushed me.

"Take your time…don't make a rush decisions. You have a few hours left before the others arrive. " He hugged me for a last time and turned around to left me. God he was so fast for an old man. I came by the doorframe to catch the sight of his bickering back as I shout after him.

"Where are you going? Don't you try to send me back home?" I yelled. He turned his head with a big grin.

"My dear Lintris. Haven't I told you it wasn't my doing neither my choice? Beside I haven't got that amount of strength to accomplish such a great spell what brought you here. " He turned again and hurried his steps when he shout back to me.

"I forgot to mention the meeting will take place at Bag End. Try to decide before the night falls on you. There will be a well known sing on the door. Do you still remember old dwarf runes don't you?" He spun abruptly again. I just nod stupidly as he gave me a wide smile and take his leave. I just watched as his form shrunken into the distance.

"Now what?" I asked myself as I was left there alone with my crushed memories and emotions, when my stomach started to rumble for food.


	5. Farewell

Thorin's POV

(Not long before Trisha's arrival, according the different time changing/

back in Bree - Prancing Pony)

The rain was so heavy outside that I was grateful being in a dry place after all. I sat myself at a small table in the crowded inn and asked the barmaid for some bread, cheese and ale. I searched for some coins in my pocket to pay with as my fingers brushed to something familiar. I grabbed and lift it from it's place when I recognized it was an old mithril hair clip with a nicely graved flaming bird on it.

"Trisha" I said to myself quietly and gasped. I haven't noticed I left it in my pocket when I took my leave from the Blue Mountains. I sighed deeply.

"Trisha" I repeated her name once more louder, as the letters of her name caused me a great enjoyment and a shiver down my spine. Haven't say her name out loud in a while. I just enjoyed the relief it gave to me to done it. I rolled the hair clip between my fingers. It was the last thing I kept from her after all these years. I couldn't make myself to throw it away, although it brings mixed memories to the surface in my mind.

 *******Flashback******

"You are the crown prince…." I heard my grandfather voice again as clear as that conversation was yesterday.

"You can not allow some silly crush for a human girl distract you. Her grandfather maybe has our honour, but now as he died she should never come back to Erebor, not even to Middle-Earth, and you must act on it!" He instructed.

"What in Durin's name are you talking about?" I growled back. Hot tempered I was, but usually I've never felt so annoyed about being so rude to my grandfather, in fact, that topic tried my patience. I've never talked about the young girl with no one, and it was just a mere friendship between us no more. Of course she was an actual beauty with her emerald fox eyes, auburn locks with a tint of red in them, but for Mahal's beard, we grown up together. Almost, but the time changed differently in their world, so it appeared to me while she was around 16 then, I was more than a 100 years old. Although she started to shape into a fine lass with a mind of a grown woman, with excellent battle skills and with a wicked humor. She even became some kind of godmother to my tiny nephews as well. She loved them with all her heart, and took great care of them while Dis was busy somewhere else. As my mind became aware of these thoughts did I realize that I certainly grow some kind of affection towards her, but never truly believed it to be more than love of a big brother. I was confused under his intense gaze what could have caused this topic so important to him, when all of a sudden he grumbled back at me.

"Don't play the fool! I've seen you at the balcony of your bedchamber." He roared. I lowered my gaze to my left palm where her handmade hair clip was hiding. I was certain now that he meant about our kiss. It wasn't planned to happen but it did.

 _All I can recall, how she wrapped her fragile form around my chest, weeping quietly for her grandfather. Despite I believed she was betrothed to my brother Frerin for which I was jealous, I ignored the feeling, the fact and embraced her tightly. All I wanted was to give her comfort, to take away her pain, while I mourned for him as well. Slowly I caressed her long, flowing hair, when I noticed one of her hair clips were loosening. After waiting her to calm down a bit in my arms, I gently turned her to face her back, braided her hair and finished it with one of her clips, but perfectly forgot about the other one which was in my hand now. She faced me with her gleaming eyes and gave me one of her genuine smiles. There were no words to describe how beautiful she was back then in her wine red gown. Maybe she was 16, but she did look like a young woman right then. She gently cupped my face to pull me closer, while she was a few inches shorter than me, (Mahal she was so small even for a dwarf woman) and gave me a peck on my cheek. I only recognized that my arms instinctively folded around her neat waist, as her palms lingered on my short beard, and all I could remember how her full lips got closer to capture mine in a light kiss. I was shocked, but it felt so right and natural that I haven't realized I was kissing her back. Our kiss became more passionate as I slide my tongue in her mouth abruptly and crashed her into my balcony's wall, but she didn't protest. She trembled a bit under my body, but her arms clasped around my shoulders, her tiny fingers find their way through my mane to pull me even more to her while I picked her up and she folded her legs around my waist. I grabbed her under her arse and I started to caress her soft creamy skin where her dress slided up on her tights after our movements. I bit her lower lip hungrily and she moaned in my mouth in response. My mind became blurry. I've never craved a woman in my life like this, and now there was I with that young and surely innocent lass, loosing my self control. But as I came to my senses we broke apart, gasping for air staring at each other. I could tell by the wide eyes she had, that she was afraid of me in some way as I was from myself, but she brushed my cheek gently as to encourage me that this was fine with her._

 _"Mahal…..Mimur…!" I moaned, as my eyes flashed to her full, red lips again."What are you doing to me?" I asked her desperately, while we were in our previous position by the wall. Maybe she thought it was a kind of good torture to me, and I asked her that as a compliment. She giggled, and tried to pull me for another kiss. I almost gave in, but I shook my head and let her down._

 _"I can't do that to you…you are Frerin's betrothed, beside you're only a child." I said sadly, cause I know well, how my brother felt for this girl. She looked at me defeated, rejected. So many emotions were in those emerald orbs that I was loosing my control again. She pulled away._

 _"I admit, that it was my mistake to initiated. But you did respond to it, didn't you." She spat at me angrily._

 _"Indeed….and forgive me!" I said and tried to approach to her, but she put her hand on my chest to push me back._

 _"You could tell me to stop, you could back away, …." She said with a shaking voice. "But after what almost happened you rejected me." She was weeping and slowly flinched to my door behind her."I'm not a child anymore. Maybe I'm not ageing as a dwarf, but as for a human, I'm matured enough to have a relationship. Why are you lying to yourself? Can't you just admit that you have feelings for me?" She yelled at me. At that point of our conversation I became so upset of her, but more of myself, to feel this lust towards her that it confused me. I grabbed her by her upper arms and shook her._

 _"I do not have such feelings for you, although Frerin has. You are to become his wife some day, and for this you must be grateful for." I roared back at her. I wasn't sure if my suspicions were right about Frerin's intents towards Trisha, but I wanted to get rid of this situation. I was certain that my brother had loved her, but I wasn't sure if she ever reciprocated that. I could see tears forming on those lovely eyes because of me._

 _"Thorin…it's not Frerin…it never was…."She pleaded with her gaze, while gently cupped my face once more, but I shook them off and pull back from her burning touch._

 _"Still you are a child in my eyes….. Leave!" I commanded sternly. She gaped, but didn't give up and shook her head hard._

 _" I said…. GET OUT!" I shouted. She ran through my door as fast as she could. My mind whirled around the events, and I wanted to get to her pleading for her forgiveness, and tried to make her understand that we can never be more than friends. When I calmed down I left my bedchamber and started to search for Lintris, when I met with my grandfather and got involved with that ridiculous situation._

My grandfathers murmuring woke me up from my daydreaming and as I recalled those memories back I realized that he was right. I did feel something for her.

"I mean that you can never meet her again, unless Frerin decide he want to take her as his wife. But as for you…., as our kin's crown prince, …you must be respect our rules." He said as his eyes bored into mine. I wanted to shout from the top of my lungs that if I love her then I will take her. That no one not even holy dwarf laws can made me to let her go. But he sensed my mood change and lifted his hands to stop me. " You must come to your senses. You will be the king under the mountain one day. Maybe your father encouraged his dwarflings to befriend with an elf lover human,… but you should understand as a king the weight upon our shoulder over our people must be more important than lust for something you do not really understand yourself. Trust me! It was nothing more than seeking for pleasure. You can find fine dwarovdems amongst our race to please you my son." He finished calmly and placed his and on my shoulder. It was one of the few times I was speechless, so I just nod and took my leave. I strode back to my chambers furiously when I bumped into one of our dwarf maiden. Before she could fall I caught her mid air, and pulled her to my chest.

"Are you hurt?" I asked her. As I noticed her flushed cheeks while she nodded I was certain that she would be an easy target of my frustration. I brushed her cheeks gently and smiled at her. Her lips parted for my reaction, as I spotted some movement around the corner of the hallway. From the color of the dress I was sure it was Lintris. So I did the only thing what my grandfather would suggest me in that situation. I seductively bend down and kissed the maiden in my still hugging arms and with half-open eyes I watched as my love flew away from my life.

 ********End of flashback**********

She didn't have a chance to know, after that kiss I apology the girl and left her there. That was the last time I saw Mimur. Still having her hair clip with me was the only proof that she existed. After all these years I haven't forget her, but developed a great amount of hatred towards the human girl for making me so miserable. Every single occasion I laid with women I remembered her skin, her full lips, her mere beauty, and it makes me more frustrated during my love-makings, so bad that I became more rough during those private times of mine. I was so occupied by my thoughts, barely missed the barmaid with my plate. I thanked, and paid for my meal while I noticed from the corners of my eyes two strangers glaring at me. Slowly I reached for my blade, as someone sat to my table before me.

"Mind if I join you?" the old man in gray asked with a wide smile, as he reached for the barmaids sleeves to make himself an order.


	6. Gathering

Thorin's POV

(Not long before Trisha's arrival, according the different time changing/

back in Bree - Prancing Pony)

I was relieved to see the two men stop in their tracks and go back to their seats, so I turned my attention to the meal befor me.

"I should introduce myself. My name is Gandalf. Gandalf the Grey." He, told me simply. Of course I've seen him before. It was when I first laid eyes on Lintris as his companion, but it was long ago. Before I know I clenched my fist around the small clip to hide it, but I was too slow, for I saw him caught a glimpse of the trinket. I couldn't decide whether he recognized that old property of her, but even if he did, he didn't show it.

" I know who you are." I grumped and narrowed my eyes. He just nod and smiled further.

"Well, now, this is a fine chance. What brings Thorin Oakenshield to Bree?" He ask amused as the maid brought him his plate of food, and shift back on his chair, ignoring my protective movement on the tiny object.

" I received word that my Father had been seen wandering the wilds near Dunland. I went looking, found no sign of him." I told him, between two bites. He sighed and lift his gaze from my fist.

"Thorin, it's been a long time since anything but rumor was heard of Thrain.

"He still lives, I am sure of it." I was certain of that, although during my search I wasn't successful. "My father came to see you before he went missing. What did you say to him?" I asked while I met his gaze.

" I urged him to march upon Erebor, to rally the seven armies of the dwarves. To destroy the dragon and take back the Lonely Mountain, and I would say the same to you. Take back your homeland." He admitted earnestly. I leaned towards him with suspicion.

"This is no chance meeting is it, Gandalf?" I asked with a tired smirk.

"No….",Gandalf said while patting my fist knowingly with Thrisa's hair clip in it and continued…" it is not. The Lonely Mountain troubles me, Thorin. That dragon has sat there long enough, sooner or later darker minds will turn towards Erebor. I ran into some unsavory characters whilst traveling along the Greenway. They mistook me for a vagabond."

"I imagine they regretted that." We both smirked at my statement.

"One of them was carrying a message. It is Black Speech." And he unrolls the message and slides it across the table to me. I didn't understood the writing and became uneasy, when he enlightened me.

"A promise of payment." He said and I flashed my eyes to his in concern.

"For what?"

"Your head."…He answered bluntly to my question…."Someone wants you dead. Thorin, you can wait no longer. You are the heir to the throne of Durin. Unite the armies of the dwarves, together you have the might and power to retake Erebor. Summon a meeting of the seven dwarf families, demand they stand by their oath." I shift back a bit and snorted at that.

" The seven armies swore that oath to the one who wields the King's jewel, the Arkenstone. It is the only thing that will unite them, and in case you have forgotten, that jewel was stolen by Smaug." I sad in disbelief.

"What if I were to help you reclaim it?" He asked with a glint in his eyes and a genuine smile started to spread across his features. I shook my head a bit and look him int he eye.

"How? The Arkenstone lies half a world away, buried beneath the feet of a fire breathing dragon." I was eager to get the answer.

"Yes, it does. Which is why we're going to need a burglar…..and maybe great amount of light." He winked at me just before I spotted how his old eyes shifted to my still clenching fist again. Mahal this was so embarrassing. What is he up to?

Thrisa's POV – Hobbiton

I decided to gain some strength from the anger caused by my new situation and started to march ahead to the small village before me. I must have been a wierd sight to the halflings in my strange outfit as I noticed they looked at me confused. I was wandering around that godforsaken place for almost an hour when I reached a little hobbit girl and ask if she knows where Beg End is. She giggled at my tired expression and pointed with her little finger further on the same road I was on.

"It's over there on the right side at the end of this road." She smiled. I brushed her shaggy head while I said my thanks and continued my walk to the place she showed me. After circa 30 minutes I was at the bottom of Bag End's small stairs, glaring at the old smiling wizard, as he was sitting on a bench and smoking in front of me. He puffed a green smoke ring above me and patted the place next to him on the bench.

"I was eager when will you arrive…." he said mockingly."..but at least you are here my dear girl." I sighed and take the offered place. My feet were throbbing so hard that I must take my shoes off.

"I must admit I haven't thought you would be waiting for me outside." He chuckled but became serious right after that.

"We must talk in private before we meet the others." He said achingly, what explained why he hadn't joined the gathering. I leaned forward on my knees.

"God I'm so exhausted!" I whispered, and started to massage my temple, and almost missed the sound of great laughter from the house. I straightened myself in my sitting position to get a better access to hear the voices from inside. My eyes widen while some of the laughs were recognizable for me. I stared at Gandalf for a second, as he silently nod giving me permition to stand and approach the round window. I peeked in so I was able to see twelve dwarfs in the kitchen eating and making fun of their poor host. I didn't want to be seen so I only leaned in a bit closer to get a better look at their features. I scanned their faces, when I gasped for air, as I've recognized some of my old friends amongst them. I was sure it was Dwalin my trainer. He used to teach me dwarf battle skills. Next to him was Balin, he was a kind of mentor to me. There were other familiar faces but, when my eyes lingered on the two long haired younger dwarfs I became bemused. I know those eyes as I glared at the blond one.

"Fili?" I whispered in shock, but abruptly put my hands to my mouth. I turned to met with the wizard's gaze and he winked at me as a confirmation. I looked back at the other young one in disbelief.

"Kili?" I asked quietly examining the brunette. So there were my two not officially approved godchildren playing with the food happily as they were toddlers again. I allowed myself a smirk.

"Well, at least some things haven't changed." Gandalf choked on his pipe after my statement and laughed.

"Dwarfs aren't supposed to be good dinner guests, caused by the lack of table manner they have."He chuckled.

"We need to discuss a few thing before we get in." I felt his mood change immediately and I stepped in front of him in awe. I gave him a slight nod to continue as he reached for my hands. " You can not tell them who you are…..Nimril." He told me sadly, and gave my hands a light squeeze. I was more confused than ever.

"What's the meaning of this?" I asked and set down once more beside him, not letting his hold on me." And why did you call me by my elven name?" I whined. The name was given to me because, of my pure spirit, and kind soul. It means white light, but usually I was called Blossom by Gandalf, who became a kind of grandfather figure to me. "What's the purpose of me being here when I can't reveal who I am?" I lifted my emerald orbs to his old one's.

"I've told you that faith has it's own ways, but as for now we use your adopted father's given name on you. Surely some of them will recognize you, but until that time comes, we disguise your true self from him." I was shocked.

"…Bu'."He cut me off, before I could protest.

"You know well how he can react on sudden things, don't you? If we want to succeed our quest then you must trust me on this. Maybe, he can identify you in one blink, but you have changed into a fine woman. You are not that love-sick lass who flew away years ago from Erebor because of a heartache." I gaped at him in annoyance for his last statement, but if I must admit to myself, he was right. He grinned again.

"You've become the most eye catching woman I ever met in years, surely they would believe you are from the elven race, but don't let that bug you.

"I'm scared." My voice was barely above a whisper as I shift my face in my free palms.

"What of?" He asked gently lifting my chin to met his gaze again.

"Of everything,…of this is going to turn out to be a freaking dream again, of this place, of my emotions…of him." I felt warm tears ran down my cheeks. He brushed them of with his thumbs, and pulled me into his embrace.

"Oh my dear Blossom…what have we done to you?" As we came to our senses we departed and slowly emerged from the bench. He squeezed my hands one last time and motioned to the green door before me. I take a few deep breaths and pushed the door open. Gandalf was right behind me. I was so nervous that I almost forgot to put my high-hills on. It was a very nice home, with friendly inviting colors and fine furnitures. Right after we came in we faced with two laughing members of our company fighting about who could drink more ale in one gulp. When they noticed me, next to Gandalf they stopped in their tracks.

"Who's that Lass?" One with a funny hat asked the wizard. But as our voices were heard in the other room all the dwarfs gathered around us curiously.

"She is master Bofur my old friend Nimril...are the fifteenth member to our company." Said Gandalf and pushed me a little towards them.

"At your service!" I continued for him and give them a light bow as to show them that I have manners. They were murmuring between themselves about a woman in their presence. So many emotions were on there faces: disbelief, concern, curiosity, anger but the young ones showed more interests and even I could see admiring glimpses. Kili as the most opened boy came in front of me. He took my small hand in his with a big grin and gave a light kiss on my knuckles.

"Kili...at your service, missy!" And winked up at me. I gaped. Was he really tried to flirt with me? Good heaven's, if only he knew I was one of the few persons be there to change his diapers he wouldn't have tried. I giggled at that thought, which misunderstanding made him more confident and he hooked my arms through his to lead us in to the kitchen. As we passed by some other companions I lift my fox eyes to catch a glimpse of my two old mentors glaring back at me in disbelief. I smiled at them encouragingly, as they turned to face each other in confusion. Slowly he seated me at the table where they formerly had dinner when I noticed the hobbit emerged from his pantry.

"Hello..who.." He greeted me with a strange look, when Dori pushed his way through the dwarves and chimed in.

"I don't think Thorin would like the idea of a girl amongst us. She possibly won't be able to defend herself." He stated.

" Leave your leader to me Dori!" The wizard demanded, but Dori didn't seem to give up that easily. As they started to argue, few more member joined in, whether I should go with them or leave me behind. At that point my blood started to boil in such rage, that I grabbed one knife from the nearby table as I stand and throw it with as much strength as I could proceed and watch it embedded right in the wall between the wizard and the dwarf called Dori.

"Blast! I'm right in front of you!" I yelled at them as I noticed great silence around me. Every eyes stared at me in suprise as I managed to get between them and pulled the knife from it's previous place." If you want to discuss things then I'm over here. Have my own mind and mouth to talk with." I spat.

"Well tha' for sure lass!" Bofur grinned at me with admiration on his face right before the whole room started to laugh. My smile returned slightly as I 've noticed their cheerful features around me and started to introduce themselves one by one. Even Dori gave me a slight nod with appreciation. As I reached the two well known brother Dwalin grabbed my left hand and turned it upwards in suspicion. He brushed his thumb over my skin on my palm and even if he noticed the scar which would give me away, he didn't show it. When he felt my hand trembling his features softened and bow before me.

"Dwalin, at your service lass!" And took his leave immediately, giving his place to his older brother.

"Don't mind him dear!" he said with a gentle voice. "You reminded him one of his old students...besides I'm Balin." He said while his movements followed Dwalin's, as we both gave a low bow each other. All of a sudden Gandalf approached us as one of his hands provided a glass of wine to me.

" I thought you might be in great need of it." He said mockingly. I giggled and thanked him, but stay beside Balin.

" So ... what was your name?" The old dwarf asked curiously.

"Li..." I've started to say but I shook my head a bit and said Nimril instead.

"Quiet a name..isn't it elven?" I nod as an answer and hurriedly explained.

"But I'm not from the race of elves. I'm human...a very short you can say,but still just a humble human. I admitted. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before he left me with Gandalf alone.

"And I've thought you forgot to handle those knives my dear Blossom!" He teased, as Fili, and Kili joined us.

"Almost my dear wizard...,almost. Surely I haven't managed practicing like this at home, but I took a kind of sword lessons called fencing. It similar but not as deadly. Even continued my archery lessons." Kili smirked with surprise.

"Archery?...You've been practicing archery?...no way!" he said mockingly while Fili laughed with the others in earshot. I punched Kili on his shoulder in annoyance.

" Are you challenging me lad?" I teased him back.

"Maybe" He smirked back while I could hear our companions made wagers about it."Well then...so be it!" I said with a wicked grin on my face.

"But beware...don't underestimate your opponent!" Gandalf added knowingly, and lift his drink, to me. I followed his movements and gulped down my glass of wine. All my surrounding stared at me in wonder.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. " I was thirsty. " I pointed out, when suddenly a dwarf named Nori started to whistle for me.

" Quiet a lass you are...never seen one human girl to drink wine in one blink." He cheered. Was I so unnatural to them? Never mind, I hushed my thoughts, and watched a shy dwarf I think Ori was his name asked Bilbo about his plate. Suddenly Fili got next to him and tossed the plate to his brother, as a very merry song started on their lips.

 _"Blunt the knives, bend the forks_

 _Smash the bottles and burn the corks_

 _Chip the glasses and crack the plates_

 _That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_

I got closer to the kitchen to see what are they up to when a pretty cheerful Kili grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into a dance. We were spinning and clapping, and I couldn't remember how did I get on the table, but God I had a great time.

 _"Cut the cloth and tread on the fat_

 _Leave the bones on the bedroom mat_

 _Pour the milk on the pantry floor_

 _Splash the wine on every door_

 _Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl_

 _Pound them up with a thumping pole_

 _When you've finished, if any are whole_

 _That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_

 _Send them down the hall to roll"_ Suddenly Fili pulled me from Kili's arms to his just before the song ended. When I stopped swirling and laughing I looked at his smiling eyes and just couldn't deny a hug from myself so I pushed myself further in his still embracing arms and hugged him. He didn't protest although Kili looked a bit jealous of my actings towards his brother as two loud knocks on the hobbit's poor door attracted our attention.

"He's here!" Gandalf blurted out.


	7. Finally

As I heard the wizard said he is here I almost fall to my knees, if Fili wouldn't be there to catch me. He looked at me distressed, but I gave him a weak smile and said.

"Just the dance...and maybe a little bit of the wine." I winked as all dwarves headed to the front door right after Gandalf. Fili nodded then jumped down from the table and hold his hands out to me. I stepped till I reached the edge of the table when he grabbed my waist and lifted me from my former place to put me on the ground.

"Thank you Fili!" I smirked at him.

"No problem Blossom!" He teased me with my other nickname and I gawked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Why?..I prefer this one better than the other, elven name of yours." He laughed and went after the others. I shook my head in disbelief and giggled, when I heard a very familiar deep baritone from the hall. Slowly I managed to soothe my nerves and got behind Bombur whose back covered me fully so I could take a closer look. I peeked out from behind the fat dwarf and stared in front of me. I haven't noticed that I hold my breath while my eyes lingered on his features. I gasped as I saw the certain blue eyes, short beard, and raven black hair which has some silver lines in them by now. Besides he was the same dwarf I kissed so many years ago. I didn't regret it, but the fact that I saw him with another one kissing right after ours, gave a bitter taste to that memory. His distaste to our burglar pulled me back to the present.

"Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." I snorted at his statement, but I wished I haven't, as the dwarf leader's piercing blue eyes searched for mine. He came closer to where I stood and pushed Bombur out of his way. I wanted to shrink into the corner, when he gazed at me with his mouth agape. I rashly looked into Gandalf's direction to meet his gaze questioningly, but he looked as concerned as me. Ever so slowly I straighten myself before him and took one step closer. His eyes bore into mine as if he couldn't believed for his own. All the group could feel the tension between us, but only few understood the seriousness of the situation. I got a glimpse of his movement to take a chance by touching me just before he rushed himself into action, but didn't have the courage to make it.

"You..." He started as if it was a question, a statement, or almost a plea, but I continued for him, before he would complicate things for me.

"I'm Nimril."I introduced myself, when the wizard hurried next to me.

"Our fifteenth company!" He stated, and Thorin stared between the two of us in disbelief. My elven name appears to him, and his features hardened right after my introduction. So his hatred for elves hadn't changed a bit. Gandalf sensed his mood change and rushed his explanation over my presence. "I've told you that you need a burglar, and ...well..." He looked back at me with a half smile."...more of her!" He gestured with his left hand over me. But before he could say more, Thorin blurted in.

"You think that I would need an elven maid for my quest?" He growled. My rage burned once more, as I noticed that he lost his interest in me caused by my elven name and stared into Gandalf's eyes for answer. At least he didn't recognized me, or I hoped he didn't.

"I take it as a compliment from you... for thinking that I'm such a beauty as they are,..." I started to say and winked at him."... except for the pointy ears,..." I continued and point on my ears in evidence."... and my height which you must also recognized. However I'm not an elf, although my name is elven." I said but couldn't resist and smirked. I could hear low gasps around me, from the others over my open bluntness towards their leader but I ignored them and still held Thorin's angered gaze. Certainly no woman has ever dare to talk to him like that. I didn't care, he is still a smug autocrat as he used to be. Gandalf tried to stand in front of me to cover my wicked grin.

"There is more impotent things to discuss Thorin. Let her humor not bother you, you get used to it." He said.

"I doubt that." He spat, and stared at me in confusion before Gandalf lad him in the kitchen. I started to follow them when Dwalin catch me by my shoulder.

"What was that lass?!" He asked in a stern voice like I was his student again. I shrugged and blurted out.

"I hate people with prejudice." I said simply to my old mentor.

"And what have you just done right before?" Suddenly my face fall after what he said. He was right. I wasn't any better, maybe he hurt me in the past, but this mission is nothing to do with it. I lift my eyes to his careworn features. "At least show some respect to our king,... he've seen a lot." He finished and patted my back as I nodded. _He is a king now, I asked to myself. What happened here while I was gone?_ I rushed after them to hear something, anything about their situation. Thorin sat at the end of the table with his back on me. I didn't want to interrupt their conversation so I just leaned against the wall next to me with my arms crossed before my chest and listened to it. _  
_

"They will not come." Thorin said disappointedly and the others joined him with the same feelings while murmuring amongst themselves. "They say this quest is ours, and ours alone."

"You're going on a quest?" Bilbo chimed in curiously. I haven't noticed he got next to me.

"Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." Gandalf asked our host, while he put some old map on the table before Thorin. His large back covered the view so I stepped a little closer to get a better look.

"Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak." Gandalf said.

"The Lonely Mountain." Bilbo said to himself when he read the map.

"Erebor!" I gasped when I recognized the home of the dwarves as I got closer to the map and to Thorin himself. I haven't sensed his eyes on me until I met his intense look.

"Surely I can read as well!" I said with a puzzled smile on my face. He just gawk further at me.

"Unfortunately the name of our kingdom is not on this map as I've noticed, is it elf?" He asked me mistrustful as my eyes got wide from my mistake. Now what, I thought to myself apprehensively. All the others looked uncomprehendingly at me as well.

"Every race knows about the greatest kingdom of the dwarves, including me." Some dwarves nodded with agreement, but the others weren't satisfied with my answer like their king, but they left the matter for now.

"Aye. Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Gloin stated.

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end." Oin continued. Bilbo looked concerned after the mention of some beast.

"Uh, What beast?" He asked with interest.

"Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metals-"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo said with a hurt expression and met my sympathetic look.

"I'm not afraid! I'm up for it. I'll give him a taste of the Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie." One young dwarf said loudly, which made the whole company buzz in union.

"Sit down!" Dori pulled his brother down once again, when Balin started to share his opinion.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us. But we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest." The dwarves started objecting. I shook my head for their lack of table manners,and got a glimpse of Thorin's weary expression before I turned to the others again to catch Kili's last sentence.

"...Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." He cheered, while the old wizard got a bit pale after his statement.

"Oh, well, now, uh, I-I-I wouldn't say that, I- -" I must laughed at that, but as soon as I did Thorin growled something in khuzdul to me, and I apologized.

"Sorry." And I lowered my gaze to the ground.

"How many, then?" Dori asked suddenly. Gandalf looked confused.

"Uh, what?" He asked, and I just restrain my laughs after his question. It was so ridiculous. Thorin didn't gave a word again for my behaviour but I saw him to take a deep sigh.

"Well, how many dragons have you killed?" Oh God! He wouldn't give up that issue easily.

Gandalf embarrassedly choked on his pipe as the dwarves jump to their feet, arguing about the number of dragons Gandalf has killed. Thorin jumped up in anger and bellowed, silencing the rest.

" **Shazara!** If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!" He finished and all the dwarf started to cheer loudly. Before Balin interrupt the merriments.

"You forget: the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain."

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Said the wizard and twiddling his fingers,to produce a dwarvish key, ornately wrought. Thorin looked at it in wonder

"How came you by this?" But his voice was merely a whisper.

"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." Gandalf said and handed the key to Thorin.

"If there is a key, there must be a door."Fili chimed in.

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls." Gandalf pointed at some runes on the map with his pipe.

"There's another way in!"Kili cheered, but Gandalf calmed him immediatly.

"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle-earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done." All of a sudden Ori blurted out understanding Bilbo's importance.

"That's why we need a burglar."

"Hm, A good one, too. An expert, I'd imagine." Surely he didn't recognized his situation. Poor fellow. Honestly I started to pitied the hobbit.

"And are you?" Gloin asked him right away.

"Am I what?" Bilbo asked.

"He said he's an expert! Hey hey!" I smacked my forehead with my palm. Oin must missheared the words and so he achieved the whole room to burst out in laughter over Bilbo's features.

"M-Me? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a burglar; I've never stolen a thing in my life." He said trying to save himself.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material." Bilbo nods in agreement with Balin's statement.

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin added and he pointed his fingers to the hobbit when Thorin looked me in the eye as well.

"Hey..." I yelled seeing his disdainful look. "I can take care of myself more than you think!" I said with anger and stamped with my foot. Thorin just smirked at my childish act and turned his back at me.

"We don't deal with children." He chuckled along with some of his companions. His words got my blood boiled in my veins, like it did when he denied me back at his bedchambers so many years ago.

"So we're on the same topic again. You haven't changed a bit." I shouted when abruptly he turned his gaze at me with fury and stood before me. I managed to gave myself again twice during the day. I stared him in shock whether he noticed it or not as I started to think of an excuse for my words.

"Explain yourself!" He growled at me and his gaze was full of rage and suspicion.

"Well...I mean you handled me as child back in the hall as I have noticed from your behavior earlier and still you do the same now." I said in one blink and glimpsed at Gandalf who took a relieving sigh and gave me an approving nod. Thorin noticed my glimpse and turned his head towards the wizard who seemed very occupied with his pipe in his hand. Thorin just snorted at me.

"Maybe you deserved it..." He stared back at me and I started to protest when he looked back at Gandalf again. " Anyway who is this woman?

"I've told you once that I have my own duty during your journey and will not be accompany you all along, so that is the reason of her presence." He said simply.

"We don't need distraction during our journey, and surely they would be a great burden to bear." The leader argued and I saw that Bilbo continues nodding in agreement so the dwarves begun arguing again. Some like Fili and Kili were beside me but I couldn't tell that for the other members. Gandalf, grown angry rise to his full height and casts darkness over the group as started to speak in his menacing voice. The others stopped in awe immediately.

"Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is, for which he is highly desirable for achieving this quest's goal along with Nimril" He finished and gone back to his normal self. "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins and this woman to accompany you as the fifteenth member. There's a lot more to him and of course to her than appearances suggest, and they got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including themselves. About Blossom's ..I mean Nimril's presence you must trust me with." Thorin looked confused for my other name used by my old friend as if he noticed something familiar, but didn't say a word about it.

"Very well. We will do it your way." Thorin nodded with acceptance.

"No, no, no." Bilbo started to say.

"Give him the contract." Thorin said to Balin and added quickly." Make one for the woman as well!" He finished.

"Great...I'm the woman now!" I whined, shook my head, and almost missed as the dwarf lord stepped in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Another word from you tonight, complaining... and you'll be walking on foot during the whole journey!" He demanded, but when he saw my fox eyes blurred with unshed tears his features softened a bit and he get confused.

"Fine!" I said in a dead voice and left the house while, I missed the hurt features of the king. I needed some fresh air to think properly and being near to Thorin didn't help. Out in front of the kitchen window their conversations were still audibly.

"Please." I heard Mr. Baggins low voice.

"It's just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." I heard Balin informed him.

"Funeral arrangements?" Now that was interesting. _Am I going to get a similar contract, I asked myself_.

"Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit, if any. Seems fair. Eh, Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations ... evisceration … incineration?" Bilbo gasped loudly.

"Oh, aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." _Well that information would help me gain my strength for the road_.I thought sarcastically, when Balin's voice caught my attention.

"You all right, laddie?"

"Uh, yeah...Feel a bit faint." Bilbo mumbled.

"Think furnace with wings." Bofur couldn't just stop. "Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! you're nothing more than a pile of ash."

"Air, I-I-I need air." ..."Hmmm. Nope." I heard the hobbit said just before I heard someone thumped on the floor.

"Ah, very helpful, Bofur." Gandalf growled. And that was it, I heard enough of this. I strode to the small bench where we sat with Gandalf and lowered myself on it. I was tired and confused. This place's existence was a heavy load on my shoulders. I worked so hard through these years to forgot all of this, and here was I arguing with my childhood love object, again. How am I going to explain it to my therapist, and moreover to Marc. Oh Marc. I sighd and brushed my thumb over my engagement ring on my right ring finger. I missed him. I missed the peace and the simple things back at home. But I also missed beeing here. I was completly torn between the two worlds. I heard a small gathering in another room as I tried to lock out the outside world, when I heard the door opening. I didn't have to turn to know who sat next to me.

"It is a nice weather outside, although it would rain soon!" Balin pointed out. When he didn't received an answer he sighed and lowered his eyes from the sky to meet my emerald ones. He leaned closer with eyes still fixed on me when he smiled. "And just when I thought that I would never see you again lass!"He chuckled to himself." I stared at him in wonder with raised eyebrows. "You know I've never seen him in such a fury in long years...even the lads couldn't do that to him." He smirked at the mention of Thorin's nephews, and I looked at him in confusion.

"Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about..." I looked at him in awe while I feared to be unmasked, but he ignored my words.

" Only when you flew off..." He continued sadly as his old eyes searched for mine." Mimur!" At the mention of Thorin's nickname for me I gaped and covered my mouth to drown my squeal. My hand was trembling when he reached out for the one which covering my mouth and took it in his.

"Oh! Balin...how did you know?" I cried out quietly. He gave me a sad half smile.

"Maybe I'm old, but still have sharp eyes. You have the same beautiful green orbs when I last saw you. But that wasn't what gave you away...It was you spirit. There are no human, nor elven maid who dare to speak her mind so freely to him like you did back there. You are as stubborn as a dwarf, lass. When you two argued I could see fire in you, and as for Thorin... well he was more alive than ever in sixty years." His words warmed my very soul.

"Sixty years...it has been sixty years!" I said in wonder. "I believed it to be less." I said honestly and searched for his sorrowful eyes. "My dear Balin...What happened while I was away?" I asked gently and saw a single teardrop left his eye. He looked at me with so mach emotion on his features that I leaned in and hugged him tightly for support. We spoke for almost two hours alone outside. He told me about, the dragon, the lost of Erebor and how everything has changed during my absence. I felt anger, sorrow, pain, loss like he did before. This is not the Middle-Earth I left so long ago. I wanted to scream as I heard my true friend Frerin died in the Battle of Azanulbizar. Everything what were dear for me was gone. Almost, as I thought to myself and turned to the house as it was translucent to find Thorin. He was not the same as I have changed as well. Probably it wouldn't have worked for us back then. I put my face in my palms and cried for the ones who were now gone. Balin patted my back with compassion when the door opened and the dwarf king's head poked out.

"Balin you are needed inside." He said simply and didn't forget to give me a hard glance before he disappeared inside leaving the door opened for my old mentor. He brushed my cheeks before he took his leave. I could here the others gathered in Bilbo's living room and after some conversations they fell silent. I was eager to know what were they up to so I approached the window when a deep humming filled the room. Right after that I recognized Thorin's deep baritone as he started to sing.

"Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day

To find our long-forgotten gold" The others joined him on the second stanza.

"The pines were roaring on the height

The winds were moaning in the night

The fire was red, it flaming spread

The trees like torches blazed with light" I heard as they finished. Thorin's voice was so full of emotions that it caught me off guard. I laid down on the bench and stared into the deep blue sky. I haven't realized I started to hum the same melody from inside when someone sneaked up on me.

"You should get inside, it's chilly to be out here." A deep voice stated as I jumped out from my previous position just to met the leader's smirking face. Obviously he thought I was funny with my frightened face.

"Oh my! Thorin, you shouldn't sneak up on someone like that!" I shrieked. He managed to hide a chuckle at my reaction and looked at me with concern. When I noticed his expression I gave him a week smile.

"What's the matter?" He didn't thought I would ask such question and raised his eyebrows.

"You!" I shivered as he got closer and looked at me with unreadable emotions on his face. I stood up from the bench to make some distance between us but my knees gave up for being there too long and started to fall when his strong arms caught me. My heartbeat started to quicken at his touch when it did when I was 16. He straightened me with his still holding arms but didn't let me go. We lingered there holding each others gaze while his panting were audible even fo me. A loud smack around the door warned us that probably were not alone when I heard Kili's confused voice.

"Uncle,..what are you two doing out there?" He asked as I met his and Fili's mischievous grin. I heard Thorin growl something to them in khuzdul, as I grabbed his shoulder for support and get off one of my shoes just to throw it in their direction.

"Don't you dare spying! Haven't you heard what would happen to someone with such curiosity as yours?...I shouted after the two lads as they escaped my wrath."...they got old!" I finished and turned my attention back to the dwarf whose arms were still around my waist just to notice in time that his eyes glinted with joy.

"Woman,... your wrath will be great burden to us all!" He teased with one of his half smiles. It almost melted my heart, but I smacked myself mentally and tried to escape from his hold.

"Such as your stubbornness." I striked back. He glared at me and grabbed my shoulders with rage.

"Careful with your tongue lass! Maybe Gandalf stands by you, but as the leader of the company I have hardly accepted your need amongst us. As one of the week links of the company you must be trained during our journey." He warned me. I shook his hands off and stepped back.

"As you wish!... Majesty!" I said sarcastically as I gave him a slight bow and left him alone. When I reached the opened door I turned to watch him still with his back on me as he stood there, lifting his gaze to the sky and said to himself. "Mahal help me!" He sighed. I must smirked at that and got inside. I've noticed the great mess the dwarfes made back here so I rolled my sleeves once more and headed to the kitchen to start cleaning up. At least that will help to occupy my mind for now.


	8. Departure

A strong light irritated my eyelids and I slowly opened my eyes with annoyance. I couldn't remember when did I fall asleep on the kitchen floor, but I found myself covered with an unfamiliar coat on me with a furry hem on it. I tried to focus on my surroundings as I noticed a very cheery Bofur smirking at me from his chair at the table. At least one of my cleaning heroes were happy. He was one of the three others who helped me get rid off the mess they made last night.

"Mornin' Lass!" He smiled.

I growled "God!" and tried to sit up with my hurting back and limbs. " How the hell I ended up sleeping on the kitchen floor?" I asked him, and started to rub the sleep out from my eyes.

"You were so tired after cleaning that you were knocked out right there." He stated and pointed to the floor where I was sitting. "We tried to move you to a more comfy place, but you smacked Thorin on the face so hard that he almost dropped you back on the floor. So we thought it would be better to leave you there." He finished with a laugh. I blinked several times at the mention of Thorin's attempt. I was a bit shocked to hear such things but after all he was concerned about me. I grinned at that, and managed to get up, while stretching my muscles just when Bombur got into the kitchen to make some breakfast. A gathered the coat to give it to it's owner. But I couldn't remember whose it was. Shyly I got closer to Bofur as my first guess of the owner but he shook his head and hold up his hands.

"If you would like to give this back to it's owner you should wait till he wakes up." He said and pointed with his pipe in the direction of the sleeping form of their leader in front of the fireplace. I turned back to him confused. He rose from his seat and patted my shoulder. "Don't let his manners bewilder you...he do really cares for his people, and after you signed the contract... whether you two likes it or not...you became one of our company." He said with his usually jokey tone. I gave him a warm smile and started to leave the kitchen when my high hills gave in and one of my hills broke down.

"Great!" I whined and stared through the window contemplatively when the road where I came from and an idea came into my mind.

" Yap! .." Bofur chimed in. "...you should find better outfits for the journey, these certainly would have kill yo' out there." He teased as he take the broken shoe out of my hand for further examination.

"Right, you are my friend!" I cheered and headed to the front door." And that's what I'm gonna' do!" I shout back to him before I took my leave and strode to my grandfather cottage. After a few minutes I found some of my old clothing in his wardrobe. Thank God I haven't grown that much so they fitted me fine. Well, almost as I looked myself in the broken mirror. I found my dark brown pants with the brown boots, a deep red tunic and a black corset which I put over my tunic so it wasn't too loose around my upper body. I almost looked like some goth freak, but it suits me after all I've been trough. Maybe the corset was a bit tight after I managed to shape into my womanly form, but that will do for the job. I even find my old guitar tied up in some clothes so I just grabbed it in hurry. I put my waterproof, wine red, warm cloak around my shoulder and run back to Bag End. When I reached the front door some of the dwarves were outside dealing with the ponies others were still around the table eating the leftovers from last night. I tried to get in unnoticed, so I put down my instrument and Thorin's coat in the hall and loosely walked into the kitchen. I prayed to be left unnoticed but a loud whistle told me other.

"Whoa!" I recognized Kili's voice from behind. "Now that's a woman to deal with!" He said approvingly and winked at me before Dwalin came beside him and smacked him on the back of his neck.

"Watch your tongue lad!... She is still a member of our company!" He growled at Kili in my protection. I wanted to thank him when I heard him murmuring something like: " _she will be a destruction amongst us_ " after leaving me alone with Kili again. I just shrugged and turned my attention back to my godson.

"And I hope you haven't forget about our challenge!" I smirked at him and Kili's face lit up with excitement. He grinned like a gorged kid.

" 'course not!" He said with a half smile and motioned to me to take a sit next to him and Fili. I was a bit nervous about being here again which wasn't too good for my appetite but I grabbed an apple from the bowl and bite in it when Balin came in and find me among the others.

"There you are! Thorin was looking for you." He said rapidly, and pointed to the front door with his thumb. I abruptly stopped chewing as a large bumb formed in my throat at his statement. "You find him outside" He finished with understanding in his eyes and I gave him a slight nod then rose from my seat to find our leader. As I reached the hall I saw through the window that Bifur, Nori and Gloin marching towards the house and walked by me. So all of the dwarfs except for Throin were inside the kitchen now. I felt nervous at the thought to be alone with him again, but I wanted to get over with it so I straighten myself and walked behind him with his gathered coat in my hands. When I reached him at the top of the hill he was tying up the supplies to his pony with his back on me. He haven't noticed me so I had a few moment to myself and watched him curiously. He had matured into a fine dwarf. Without his coat I was able to study his broad shoulders were full with muscles under his tunic. He was not the same man I used to know. He was more harsh, and rude than ever. As I was wondering, one of the ponies held it's head up to look at me and attracted Thorin's attention to his surroundings.

"Like what you see?" He teased, as he slowly turned to me. I gasped at his words and gave a sharp look at the pony who gave me away.

"Traitor!" I spat at the poor thing angrily and stepped in front of the dwarf.

"I think this is yours. " I said holding his coat out to him while I noticed him measuring me in my new outfit with approval in his eyes. When he met my gaze his eyes locked with mine in confusion and stepped towards me. It intimidated me and didn't bear to hold his gaze so I just shift my eyes on the ground. "By the way...thank you for lending me!" I managed to whisper to him under his intense gaze. He nodded but still stare at my features.

"After all you gained some proper clothing." He smirked at me when he noticed my tormented face. My face flushed with annoyance and I lift my fox eyes to his blue ones.

"Oh is that so?...And just when I remembered you stared at me with approval for my womanly curves in my inappropriate skirt and thin blouse. Which were less apparent in that dress then this one." I said and smirked at him when I noticed his face hardened a bit. He turned on his heels and went to his pony once more. Hardly I remember times when I made Thorin Oakenshield mute. I'm gonna love this trip I snorted to myself and glanced back to the green door of the house from where the others came out one by one, leaving poor Bilbo behind. Kili brought my disguised guitar and small pack with him and smiled at me wildly.

"God..it's so embarrassing!" I winced to myself when I thought no one hears me, but Gandalf was right behind me and patted my shoulder understandingly. " I wish I could tell at least those two that,.. Hey I'm your kind of godmother stop staring at me like that!" I complained. My old friend just smiled before he turned his attention to his horse, while Kili reached me and gave me my belongings.

"Here you go Blossom!" He said with a huge grin on his face as his fingers brushed to my outstreched hand, which movement didn't go unnoticed by his uncle so he marched to the spot we were standing and pushed himself between us as a diversion to fetch up with the wizard and to brake our moment.

"As we don't have enough ponies, you'll be riding with one of us." He yelled back and so my eyes find his nephews expectant ones, when Thorin continued. " But not with you, Kili!" I almost laughed at Kili's face, when it turned to bright red after his uncle's command. I smiled at him sympathetically, but I felt a great relief inside. I sighed and turned to one of the ponies. Balin got next to me as I drifted to my thoughts and coughed to draw my attention.

"Well my dear, you can ride with me, if it would be all right with you, besides here is your contract." He said giving me the document, searching any kind of discomfort in my eyes, but I just nod gratefully and signed it without reading.

"If it is as entertaining as Bilbo's..." I started, and tied my things to his pony. "...then I don't want to read it. ... And as for the ride...At least I don't have to act myself in front of you." I grinned. He pulled himself up on his pony and reached out to help me get behind him. "Thank you!"

"Any time Mimur...any time!" He whispered to me gently, and I couldn't resist and hugged him from behind. As I was behind him on a pony it appears nothing more than someone cling to another for support. Just we knew what it really meant. And as for the first time being here again I felt comfort and the familiar feeling of belong to somewhere. It felt home. I was so lost in my thoughts once again, that I nearly missed the changing surrounding around us. I was confused,were is our burglar.

"Wasn't Bilbo supposed to come with us?" I asked Balin ha gave me a nod.

"We left his contract behind, just in case." He told me, when Bofur closed up.

"Hey Blossom! Wanna make a bet?" He laughed throwing a pouch up and down in his palm.

"Why is everyone calling me that now?" I asked indignantly, staring at Bofur.

"The lads called you that before, and it fits you well. By the way what say yo'? You bet?

"About what exactly?" I asked back.

"If Bilbo shows up or not!" He said in a mocking tone. I glanced around the company searching for the wizard.

"And what did you expect from our burglar master Gandalf? I asked. He glanced behind his shoulder to gave me one of his looks and said:

"Him to do what he must, I expect nothing less." Gandalf said meaningfully and gave me a wink before he galloped next to Thorin. I smiled and turned to face Bofur.

"I bet he shows up." I said, but forgot to mention that I had no money with me,in case I lose. The others wagered on Bilbo's appearance as well and continued our journey. After two tiring hours we heard loud yelling from behind so we stopped, to find a very exhausted Bilbo Baggins running towards us.

"Wait! Wait!" He screamed. "I signed it!" He snorted and lend the contract to Balin. Balin took the contract, inspecting it with a pocket-glass, then smiled genuinely at Bilbo.

"Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." The dwarves cheered but Thorin didn't look too impressed.

"Give him a pony." He growled and turned his pony to the road again.

"And what's with the: We don't have enough ponies?" I imitated his tone, but he ignored me once more. "I don't get it, what's wrong with him?" I asked out loud. And Balin turned his head slightly to answer me quietly.

"He has changed...a lot since you left." But he didn't dare to continue as we caught by Thorin's stern gaze, however he wasn't in earshot. He was not the man I used to know. Who I once loved. I wondered what caused that change. Suddenly I heard Bilbo's yelp when his speech was cut off as two of the dwarves rode alongside him and picked him up from behind to put him on a pony. Bilbo looked quite terrified on his pony while it neighed and tossed its head, making the hobbit quite uncomfortable.

"Come on, Nori, pay up. Go on." Oin broke the silence. Nori tossed a sack of money to Oin, and I watched amused how sacks of money began to pass between the dwarves, when suddenly mine landed in may waiting palm. The dwarves laughed and a a merry atmosphere evolved amongst us, only Bilbo was confused.

"What's that about?" He asked Gandalf.

"Oh, they took wagers on whether or not you'd turn up. Most of them bet that you wouldn't." Came Gandalf's simple answer.

"What did you think?" After Bilbo's next question a sack of money tossed to the wizard what he puts in his bag.

"My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second." And that was the last sentence I heard, cause Balin rode next to Thorin to discuss something, but I tried to hide behind the old dwarf to avoid Thorin's gaze. It was a bit boring after Balin reached his leader and started a conversation with him in khuzdul. I felt lonely again until, Kili and Fili decided to join us and cheer me up.

"Hey! When we camp for the night...you promised to show us your archery skills." He said. But it sounded more as a statement then a request.

"You sounded like a spoiled child, wanting his cookies." I laughed at him, and Fili joined me, but Kili was persistent and got closer to our pony.

"I was not the one who made hasty offers." He teased and smiled at me seductively.

" _Idribîtu_! (Stop it!)" Thorin roared back to us furiously. I haven't even noticed the whole company stopped and stared at Thorin who sputtered something to Kili in their native tongue while gesturing towards me. It really frustrated me.

"Would you mind sharing some thoughts of the conversation between you two, cause as you may find out, I can't speak khuzdul fluently. But if you refuse, then I must ask you to: _Itkit! ( Shut up!)"_ I yelled. All the faces around me gawked at me for using their secret language. I could tell how angry Gandalf was after my interruption. Using their native tongue was a bad idea, as I might lose their respect due to the fact they don't know me well enough. I got off the pony and marched into the woods alone and even ignored the wizard's worried screams. I must think, and alone. I got deeper in the forest when I heard footsteps from behind and suddenly two strong arms grabbed me by my waist and turned me.

"And what in Mahal's name you think you're doing?" Thorin shouted in my face. "Not only you have no respect to our rules about our secret language,but you left the others alone, despite the fact that you are a part of our company. How dare you call yourself a respectful grown woman, when you act like a child, and disobey my orders?" He got closer and closer, even I could feel his breath on my face, when my wrath started to won me over.

"You know, when you handle someone as a wild animal she may turn into one. ...In this case,... to a child... You were the one who treated me as if I was some burden to you all, but I tell you something Thorin Oakenshield! It wasn't me who wanted to come in first place. I'm here cause Gandalf asked me to, and as for this you have no power over me." I hissed painfully while his hold strengthen around me. His eyes became a shade darker then usual, and I struggled to get free from his grip.

"I might let you come with us, but Mahal knows, how I want to change that condition." He said in a calmed tone. I pushed his hands off me, and started to get back to the others, but couldn't resist and said.

"I may signed the contract, but not for your sake, and with that you can not give me commands master dwarf." Finishing my monologue I headed back to Balin before he catches me again and apologized for my rashness. He said nothing in return, but gave me a hand to get back on his pony. As Thorin came back a few minutes after me I noticed his bleeding knuckles on his right hand. I was shocked and had a supposition that maybe he got so angry with me that he might hit that tree,where not so long ago he wanted to push me to. I lowered my gaze ashamed to prevent myself from any further conversations in the near future. At one movement of their leader, we continued our journey. I noticed that Fili road to Thorin and discussed something with his uncle, before he got next to me and coughed a little to get my attention.

"Uncle told me to train you to handle a sword along with others during our journey."He told me. But I could tell how he heated it. Before my temper could rise again I took a deep breath and simply said.

"I've told you that I have trained to handle a sword and even to use a bow properly. Why is he so eager to make me uncomfortable?" I asked.

"It's not what you think! He is our leader. And so he is responsible for our safety. I know what you think of him, but trust me,he is a great man." I felt Balin tensed in front of me,as we all felt Thorin's eyes on us but fortunately our conversation went unnoticed. I looked into Fili's eyes searching for his thoughts as his very soul could be seen through his blue orbs.

"All right Fili! I'll do it. I try to avoid to be such a great burden to you all." I said it with a half smile. As I expected the young dwarf started to protest.

"You not a burden Blossom! Just try to show more respect to our culture...to our rules!" He finished politely.

"I can do that!" I giggled light heartedly,when unexpectedly Gandalf chimed in from behind.

"Now that's my Blossom!" He smiled at me and I laughed.

The company has camped for the night near the edge of a cliff. Before I could rest I got a glimpse of Thorin noding to Fili, who approached me with his sword in his hands. _I ain't gonna like this, neither they,_ I thought to myself.

"God have mercy on me!" I sighed and got up from my bedroll. But before Fili could reach me I grabbed Kili's bow and one arrow next to me with high speed and aimed between his eyes. He gasped in shock and stopped. Kili jumped immediately before him, to protect his brother, and from the corner of my eyes I saw someone's shadow approaching me from behind. I turned suddenly then shot the arrow. It hit's Thorin's left braid and stucked it into the tree right behind him. There was silence around us, and I met with his intense gaze then the others burst into loud ovations. His eyes softened a bit and the corner of his mouth curved into a grin. I slowly lowered the bow and shook my head in disbelief.

"Whoah!" I heard Kili's cheers behind me.

"Nice shot!" Fili said approvingly with more calm features than before and patted my shoulder. I tore my gaze from our leader's and met with his nephew's.

"That was amazing!" Kili said and took the weapon out of my hand before picking me up and twirled me around. Unfortunately I was so shocked by Kili's reaction that I struggled to get free from his hold, which caused him to fall back with me on top of him and our lips touched in a light kiss which Kili wanted to deepen. The company burst into laughter except for Thorin and my old friends. I pushed myself from my very frustrated and disappointed godson and stormed off to the nearby cliff to gain some self control before I hit someone. I heard someone approaching and I just shouted.

"Get the Hell away from me Kili!" But when I turned it was nobody else then Thorin himself staring at me with wide eyes. I sighed and felt defeated so I just bend my head. "Go on and shout my hair off as always!" I said in a low tone. He didn't say a word just got closer with determination in his eyes and stopped right before me. Although I was human he was a mere inch taller than me. I had to lift my fox eyes to met his. I wasn't aware his holding something in his hands behind his back when he caught my hand and put his bow in it. I looked up to him confused.

"Well done!" said with a light smile playing on his lips. "It may serve you well till you have your own bow." I studied his features for a moment, while our hands were still in contact. He did the same. In one moment I saw recognition in his eyes but then in another it changed into confusion and to disbelief. After ten very long and silent moments he released the weapon with my hand and his curiosity turned fury in his gaze. "But stay away from my nephew!" He ordered. _Well here we go again_ , I thought rolling my eyes.

"It wasn't me picking him up!... Like I wanted to be the center of future jokes." I blurted out. He looked at me uncomprehendingly.

"So you're not interested in Kili?" He asked confused. I shook my head with a smile.

"Nope!".. He is more like a godson to me." I protested. He relaxed and gave me one of his half smiles.

"He is a good lad." He stated and I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah..I remember..." I started to say before I caught myself on what was I thinking being alone with Thorin and almost gave myself away..AGAIN! He met my worried gaze and stared at me with wide eyes.

"You remember what?" He asked suspiciously.

"I remember to go get some sleep before we continue our little trip...Goodnight Thorin!" I spluttered and started to get back to our camp. "And thanks for the bow." I shouted back to a very distracted Thorin. When I reached my bedroll I climbed onto it and put my new weapon by hand-reach with a big grin on my face. At least Thorin could be nice sometimes. However I was tired I couldn't sleep, so I sat up and caught Bilbo in action. Bilbo got up and walked around. Most of the dwarves were asleep; Gandalf, Fili,Kili and I were the only ones awake. Bilbo walked over to his pony and gave her an apple, after checking to see that no one is looking. Bilbo heard a scream in the night air and became worried. He ran over to Fili and Kili.

"What was that?" He asked concerned.

"Orcs." Kili stated simply. Another scream was heard. Thorin, who was dozing, jerked awake along with me.

"Orcs?" Bilbo asked terrified.

"Throat-cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them." Fili said.

"Come on guys! Don't be such morons." I chimed in.

"They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet; no screams, just lots of blood." Kili continued for Fili with a light smirk. Bilbo looked away in fright; Fili and Kili looked at each other and began laughing. I grumbled in disbelief. Those two fools made Bilbo scared which caused their uncle to stood before them.

"You think that's funny? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" Thorin asked angrily.

"We didn't mean anything by it." The younger brother admitted helplessly.

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world." Thorin walked off to the edge of the cliff and looked out over the valley while Balin walked up to Fili and Kili.

"Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs. After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had got there first..." He damped their mood with the story of Azanulbizare's battle. I just sat there and listened to all those thing I missed since I was sent home and I couldn't believed for my own ears.

"...And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King." Balin finished and I could feel tears filled my eyes as I listened to the dwarfs sad fate. Thorin turned away from the view beyond the cliff; and for his suprise the entire company is awoke and stood in awe, staring at him and so did I. He looked amongst us and found my green orbs and as to show my respect to him I slightly bowed my head before him. Thorin walked between us toward the fire.

"But the pale orc? What happened to him?" Asked Bilbo with curiosity.

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago." Thorin spat wit venom in his words. I plopped back to my bedroll with frustration over the story and over Kili's earlier behavior towards me and a sudden idea came to my mind as a solution to my biggest problem with my godsons. I walked to our pony with Balin and untied my instrument before heading back to my place. Thorin and some of my companions gazed at me with interests as I unpacked my guitar and started to strummed the chords on it while sung my favorite song.

"I remember tears streaming down your face  
When I said, "I'll never let you go"  
When all those shadows almost killed your light  
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"  
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight"

Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound" I noticed Kili's and Fili's eyes widened with recognition as they remembered this lullaby I sang to them when they were dwarflings and nor Thorin nor their parents were able to lay them for the night. It was one of my favorite duties amongst the dwarfs and it was our secret.

"Don't you dare look out your window darling  
Everything's on fire  
The war outside our door keeps raging on  
Hold onto this lullaby  
Even when the music's gone  
Gone

Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh  
La La (La La)  
La La (La La)  
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh  
La La (La La)

Just close your eyes  
You'll be alright  
Come morning light,  
You and I'll be safe and sound...

Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh oh oh" I finished with a small smile and a single teardrop in my eyes as I met the lads knowing eyes.

"Trisha?" Kili gaped so no one only Fili could hear. I just gave him a nod and my smile got wider. We looked at each other with so much love and unsaid words that only a mother and her children could understand although they were not mine. The others gone to sleep with my singing, even Thorin, and when the lads noticed my gaze fall upon their uncle and then back to them I put my index finger to my mouth. They seemed to understand and laid down to get some rest before dawn along with me. Finally I found a way to tell them who I was.


	9. Reunion

When the sun rose and I sat up with a big yawn I found my lads drew closer in their sleep to my bedroll. I smiled at them, then as I lifted my eyes to look around I met with Thorin's frustrated eyes. He seemed to notice how close his nephews were to my spot and hardly understood this thing between us. I smiled at him and shrugged.

" It wasn't my doing." I protested. But he ignored me and marched to his pony like he was pissed off. Probably cause I just told him the day before that I'm not interested in Kili, and the fact he was lying close to me wasn't helping. As he left the two lads woke up and smiled at me cheerfully.

"Mornin' Tr.."

"Shhhh!" I hushed Fili nervously. He looked sad, but I leaned closer to him and brushed his cheek with my thumb." I'm so sorry,..." And peaked around if anyone noticed. "...but the others shouldn't know I'm back." I explained to them. They nodded in union and got closer to me but not as close to attract attention. Slowly Fili leaned into my touch and lightly kissed my hand, as he did I blinked back some tears and laughed softly. "I missed you kids!" And they returned my smile but Kili was a bit confused.

"By Durin's beard...I almost kissed my own godmother! I couldn't recognize you until last night. You've changed." He freaked out in a whisper. I laughed again and patted his head.

"Now you understand how I felt around you, sweet heart. And of course I've changed...I'm 30 years old now...and don't come with the age differences cause you know quite well that humans aging differently than dwarfs." I said in a mocking tone.

"But why shouldn't we tell Thorin or the others that you know...that you is you?" Fili asked quietly. I sighed and gathered both their hands in mine to comfort them.

"Cause as I've told your uncle, I don't want to be a destruction to the quest. Only Gandalf, Balin and you two knows who I really am...and maybe Dwalin. Man he is a suspicious guy!" I said and peaked to the direction where Dwalin was. He stood with his back to us but still I felt his attention.

"Anyway I'm glad you're back!" Fili said.

"Aye..me too!" Kili nodded in agreement. I grinned happily and squeezed their hands. "However it's a bit embarrassing...I almost had a crush on you!" Kili pouted. "It's just not fair...I met with someone who isn't related to me and find her quite a beauty and smart, and she even loves archery and she turned out to be my godmother!" Kili blurted out. I laughed at that and stood up holding my hands out to them.

"Come now! We must get ready! I think your uncle wants to depart soon. And I promise to fulfill our challenge as soon as possible to make it up to you Kili, and for Fili ...I'm ready to train my sword-fighting skills with you...Deal?" I asked them before they both nodded and took my hands to seal our agreement, and in one movement I also pulled them up. We smelled food so we headed to the small campfire where Bombur made breakfast, and plopped down next to Balin and Dwalin. I lazily looked around and felt Gandalf's worried eyes on us. He looked at me in disbelief and sighed deeply shaking his head slightly. I stood up earning some disappointed growls from Kili and sat next to the wizard.

"I remember to told you not give yourself away, didn't I?" He asked in a fatherly tone.

"Hey,..I didn't gave myself away..." I looked him in the eye in a defensive way, whereupon he gave me a stern look. "...at least not exactly. They just recognized me after my song. And don't look at me like that... I'm not a child anymore..." I protested against his glare."... Furthermore you didn't mention what should I do, if someone recognize me on his own?" He snorted at my question and turned to look at the brothers whose eyes were on us with distress along with Balin's and Dwalin's, then looked at Balin's knowing gaze, and finally turned back to me with a smile on his features.

"I must apologize for you Blossom...I underestimated you!" He laughed. " Finding loopholes was the greatest talent of yours, and I have forgot. At least I hope Thorin haven't recognized you, and as for this you must be more careful." I grinned at him and nodded happily. "Ah...you little vixen.." He mocked."One of your bright smiles could melt anyone's heart. You bring light to people's lives!" When he said that tears started to drip from my eyes as I remembered my grandfather's words. He used to said this to me when he wanted to cheer me up.

"God I miss him so much." I whispered to him. It was the second day of me being here and as my mind drifted back to my home I felt uncomfortable. When I am in Middle-Earth it's so real. It seems everything is on it's place. I missed that kind of feeling back home, but the drugs and my therapy said otherwise. As for this I'm a bit confused. "What should I tell the others when I get home?" I asked apprehensively and brushed my thumb over my engagement ring.

"I know it's difficult for you being here...but I think I speak on behalf of everyone if I say: I missed you my dear!" He finished and embraced my shoulder. I leaned into his embrace before Thorin came in to view and finished my breakfast as fast as I could to join Balin. He waited for me by our pony and helped me up in the saddle. The others hurriedly packed together and we continued our journey. After a few miles and several hours of silence, the weather changed and became awful.

"I see the lads recognized you." Balin said breaking the rainy weather's monotone sound. I blinked trying to get rid of the water in my eyes and followed his gaze as he noticed Fili and Kili rode right behind us. I smiled to myself and leaned closer to his ear so he could hear me.

"Well yeah! ...Funny isn't it!" I smiled.

"It' won't be as funny when Thorin or Dwalin finds out who you are!" He warned me. "My brother is already suspicious, ...he knows quite well you were training with him when you got that scratch on your left palm... and I can see how Thorin's gaze lingers on you when you're not paying attention."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked, and looked over my shoulder to find Dwalin but met with Kili's mischievous grin instead. I smiled back and turned my attention to Balin again while heard some dwarfes complained about the weather and that Gandalf should do something about it.

"Maybe not...maybe it would make things more difficult amongst us, but I must say ..." But the wizard's speech draw my attention as he got next to our pony so I couldn't listen to my old friend anymore.

"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman, the White. Then there are the two Blue Wizards; you know,..." I heard Gandalf's voice and slowly he turned directly to me with a confusing, sad expression on his face and continued "...I've quite forgotten their names." He said sheepishly and averted his gaze from mine. I saw something lingered in the depths of his eyes like he tried to tell me something but changed his mind.

"Sorry Balin! I didn't pay attention. What would you like to say?" I asked my companion, but he shook his had lightly.

"Never mind Blossom. It's just an old dwarf's imagination." Ha said and fall into silence. Probably it was Thorin's intense gaze on us what silenced him but speaking of the devil he showed up right next to me and he looked straight into my eyes.

"As we make camp you can show how skilled you are with a sword." Thorin said with a hint of excitement in his eyes and with that he galloped ahead.

"Fucking great, just what I needed!" I growled between clenched teeth.

"You said something lass? Balin asked confused.

"No nothing really, just cheery about tonight's show!" I said in a mocking tone. After a few hours the rain stopped, but it didn't help my condition. Finally our company arrived to the ruins of an old, abandoned farmhouse. I climbed from Balin's pony and felt miserable in my soaked clothes which attached to my form like a second skin when without any warning I heard some murmuring behind me and my heart started to race like hell. I felt some of the dwarves were up to something. I heard rapid footsteps approaching behind me just when I picked up a nearby branch to block Dwalin's first blow and met with my godson's worried looks.

"And what the FUCK are you thinking you're doing?" I yelled to Thorin behind my opponent's back, as the branch gave in from the force of the blow and fall broken to the ground before my feet. I heard Thorin chuckled after I ducked to avoid Dwalin's next movement and tumbled behind him to gain some time when Fili decided to throw me his sword, since I don't have my own.

"I've told you that you'll have the opportunity to show your skills in a dual." He stated."

"You forgot to mention the word DUAL last I checked!.. Haven't you considered the fact that I don't have proper weapons of my own you BRUTE?" I said with anger, and gestured to Dwalin to go on, with much more self-confident by holding my loan weapon. He circled me and I followed his movements. I got a glimpse of Fili approaching Thorin with concern.

"Uncle, you've told me that I could train with her...I could prepare her for duals with Dwalin." He complained,but his uncle waved him off.

"Don't try to argue with him Fili, he is stubborn as a mule...as always." I spat at him through heavy panting caused by Dwalin's further blows, but I could sense his temper raised by my statement.

"Your enemy wont care whether you have weapon or not, woman!" He shouted back. But his last word cut deeper then I thought cause I lurched forward to my old mentor with force then suddenly spun to his other side what movement took him by surprise and slashed my sword toward his body which stopped mere inches from his neck causing a little scratch on Dwalin's neck. He looked at me with wide eyes as the recognition started to show on his features. It was my unique trick in close combats showed by the elves when they trained me in Rivendell. We stared at each other with amusement, while the others were applauded, and slowly we lowered our swords. Dwalin got closer and gave my left hand an approving squeeze, but as he did so he searched the wound from our previous dual, long ago, as a proof of me being his lost pupil. He gasped silently and looked confused. He looked with some pride at me then gave me a nod and marched away. I was still painting when I met with Thorin's fury but there was some approval in his eyes as well. But I didn't care as long lost memories flooded back to me which were closed in the back of my mind thanks to the special medical help and drugs which were not available right here. But my torment didn't ended with the previous dual. I noticed how Thorin lifted his sword and approached me lazily, when he reached me without any warning he moved forward slashing towards my upper body. I was tired, soaked but my anger toward him gave me strength to jump back right in time. For a few second I was just defending, when he suddenly ducked before I could punch him with my free hand and grabbed it to hold it down behind my lower back so we were face to face with each other, our noses slightly touching.

" **Show me you belong here**!" He teased me with a half smile but that word just enraged me more, as one relevant memory forced itself back to my mind again.

-FLASHBACK-

 _ _I couldn't believe my own eyes a_ fter I saw Thorin with another woman and turned abruptly at the corner. Warm tears caressed my cheeks and blurred my vision and I crushed into a hard body in front of me. It was Thorin's grandfather, Thror who grasped my shoulders to support me and looked at my messy features. He peaked around the corner and saw his grandson with the dwarovdame in his arms._

 _"I see my grandson finally find a suitable mate for himself." He taunted and measured me from head to toe. "At last my words reached their goal." He finished. With that I pulled myself from his grasp._

 _"So it was your doing!" I yelled pointing at the direction of his offspring not caring about his noble rank and my lack of behavior. He got angry as well and dragged me away from our spot, out of earshot._

 _"I did it for his own sake... One day, that lad become a king, and as for a king he needs a noble queen.. a proper match to rule by his side...Look at you!" Ho pointed at my chest in disgust but in a more calmer tone. " **You don't belong here**. You're not even a dwarf, and so you can not give him heirs...Maybe you fit amongst the elves, but not here... I truly honoured your grandfather and his death caused great sorrow to us, but you must take your leave._

 _"But what about Frerin?" I asked in a weak voice shaking by the pain his words caused me._

 _"Ah.. Frerin,... Frerin as my younger offspring won't have to deal with the weight of my crown like Thorin... He could have you...if he wants you, but I hope after coming back from his quest where I sent him,... he forget about his obsessive behavior towards you." He stated with self-confidence, and left me alone with my aching soul. I haven't realized back then, that this quest claimed his life, and that I would never see him again._

-END OF FLASHBACK-

I growled pushing back this picture in my head and felt an unfamiliar warm sensation spread through my body. With my new renewed force I head-butted him ignoring the pain what it caused, and knelt him in the stomach which movement took him by surprise. He staggered back and with the gained strength I started to attack him with several blows, forcing him to retreat, but haven't noticed a slight light flowing from my hands. Thorin blocked one of my blows with an angry yell by grabbing my already lifted joined hands and stopped me from hitting his head with the hilt of my weapon. It almost looked like an embrace to the others who were watching us with awe, betting on what would come next, when I decided to pull myself back to get free which caused me to fall on my back with Thorin on top of me. His body pinning me to the ground leaning on his forearms next to my head. We were panting and staring at each other with wrath, but his expression changed into something I haven't seen in his features since I came back. There was longing in his blue eyes as his gaze lowered to my lips. I almost gave into the familiar sensation, when I came to my senses and pushed the shocked leader off me.

"I'm sick of being told, where I do belong and where I don't!" I spat in his face. " All my life... I was eager to try and find a place where I can fit in, but you know what?...Actually my surrounding should be glad if they could belong to me instead." I growled as I thought back of him, his grandfather, my parents and all my life's torments and picked myself up from the ground, and noticed a small wound on Thorin's cheek from our fight. I knelt in front of him and tapped the scratch, with one of my fingers whereupon he hissed in pain and leaned away from my touch. Finally I won, I thought to myself." Till first blood!" I said to him then stood up to show the blood stain on my finger for everyone to see. "ARE YOU HAPPY?" I shouted at our leader pointing at him with my sword. Everyone tensed, even Gandalf fell silent and looked betwen us with fear, but his old eyes were glued to my now normal looked hands. "The question is my king...do you belong here? I asked in a low voice and tapped my chest above my heart. " Cause I won't follow the orders of a king who can't gain their people's love...God I want to get out of here!" I screamed in pain caused by my throbbing head, and strode in the other direction away from the company, while dropping Fili's sword. I marched many miles ahead before my knees gave in and I fell down. My whole body was shaking. I felt my forehead covered with a thin layer of sweat. I've never felt this kind of pain before. Just right after leaving the hospital behind. As the shaking continued, got stronger I felt my stomach got queasy and suddenly I threw up. All my strength slipped away like my life-force was sucked out of me and I laid myself down on the dewy grass. I laid there silently for almost half an hour, when I heard someone stepped beside me.

"My dear Blossom!" I heard Gandalf's worried voice, but couldn't move my head to look up at his face. Slowly he sat next to me and started to rub my back comfortingly with one of his hand while the other holds my right one appraisingly. "What's happening to you?" He asked.

"It feels like some kind of withdrawal symptom to me." I whispered. "I thought I was over it...maybe I'll never be the same again. Before the hospital, and the drugs." But that wasn't what he wanted to know.

"Tell me how can I help!" He asked gently, and slowly I turned my head to look into his old eyes filled with unshed tears for me.

"Send me back home!" I pleaded. Marc would have known what to do I thought to myself.

"That one thing I can not do! ...Please ...stay!" He asked. I nodded and sighed.

"Never have I felt such strength in me, like when I fought Thorin back...never have I felt that I could make it. It was as a pure force gave me the power and courage to win. It felt like magic." I murmured, and felt the old wizard's hand tensed on my back and stopped it's movements.

"What have you just said?" He asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.

"That it was some kind of spell on me...like I was the magic itself." I said and his silence attracted my attention. It was the second time that day that I felt he's hiding something from me. I managed to sit up, but my head complained about the abrupt move and started to spin so I decided to stay there for a bit longer unlike Gandalf. He stood up and looked ahead of him with thoughtful expression on his face and took a step forward. I watched him with curiosity.

"Where are you going?"

"Well...There was a small encounter between me and our stubborn leader." He stated whereupon I had to smile. " I've had enough of dwarves for one day." Will you be fine alone my dear?" He asked with concern, but I waved him off.

"Go, before I change my mind and go after you." I teased and with that he marched away. I was sitting on some hill and marveled the view in front of me. The sun slowly started to dive under the horizon and I felt a presence got closer to my spot. "Are you going to stand there all day silently or you join me?" I asked whoever it was, when a familiar blue coat with a fur hem on it came into view. Slowly he sank next to me his eyes glued to the landscape. I examined his features for a few second and shook my head with a sly smile on my face.

"What..no yelling at me that I supposed to be back with the company, and you are the leader or..." I blurted out mockingly, when his piercing blue gaze turned to me and stopped me in my tracks.

"Forgive me!" He asked almost in a pleading tone. My mouth fell open. I almost had to stop myself asking out loud : A _bout what_. He the great descendant of king Thror asking for my forgiveness. It almost sounded like the young dwarfling I met several years ago. I blushed a bit and turned my head away from his intense look.

"Wow!.. That was new!" I told him with a smile. "Never would have thought that we end up like this!" I shook my head again in disbelief, when I got a glimpse of two bobbing head from the corner of my eyes hiding under a nearby bush. "OK, who sent you?" I asked skeptically.

"How..." He started in amazement but I cut him off.

"Which one?" I asked again with a stern look on my face, whereupon he turned his gaze sheepishly to his lap.

"It was Kili..." He said with one of his genuine smiles. " ...and Fili, ... also Dwalin agreed with them. He turned out to be a bit overprotective of you after your dual." He chuckled and looked me in the eye when he noticed my pale features and messy hair. He looked at me with concern and crawled closer, like he wanted to share a secret with me. "You know I've never seen Dwalin acting like this since years towards someone... maybe it's caused by the resemblance between you and one of his old pupil. She was as stubborn as you, ...but her heart lied on the right place, ...and what you said earlier reminds me of her so much, that I must admit... you were right." He breathed almost to himself while he examined my face. I looked away to hide my growing blush and to obey Gandalf's order. He noticed and added. "I wasn't always like this...Once I was a young dwarf with hopes, dreams and potentials." I didn't dare to interrupt him as if this moment of bliss being there, participating in his old memories could slip away with one word from me, so I just sat there in silence and listened to him curiously. And as I have noticed he didn't mind at all. I was lost in the memories we shared from long ago, when his warm hand on mine woken me from my thoughts.

"You've changed...a lot!" I said accidentally still under his spell. After I noticed my mistake I jumped up from my sitting position and he did the same, not really understanding my behavior.

"You said it as if you knew me from earlier." It wasn't a question, but it was too late I thought. My sudden movement of standing up made me dizzy again and my body started to shake. Just before I collapsed on the ground, two strong arms saved me from falling. Thorin gently settled me on the hill we were sitting previously right next to his hard form. I leaned into his comforting warmth and closed my eyes when I felt his body tensed. "Are you all right?" He asked anxiously. I gave him a small nod as an answer and straighten myself in my position to gain some distance between our bodies.

"Just a bit tired...that's all." I lied with a sly smile and pulled my hair clip out from my auburn locks. "God I must look awful." I laughed nervously and started to comb my hair with my fingers then tried to braid it when he closed the space between us.

"Here...let me!" He whispered and felt his fingers touched mine to pull my locks out from them. I tried to protest and lean away but he grabbed my shoulder to steady me."SShhhh...Easy!" He hushed me gently.

"Darn, Thorin! I'm not a freaking horse." I growled back defensively, but let him had his way, closed my eyes and gave myself up to the feeling of his fingers running through my long hair.

"I know!" Ha added with a hidden chuckle and went back to his work. His fingers started to braid my hair with effortless well known movements. This familiar situation felt so natural, that I didn't complain and even enjoyed myself. When he finished he reached out for my hair clip in my offering palm. Grasping it he clipped it in my finished braid. I turned my head with gratitude in my eyes when I realized our faces were so close, that I could feel his breath on my skin.

"Thank you!" I breathed with shaking voice noticing he lowered his now burning gaze to my lips as he nodded in response. But as he did, our lips brushed accidentally to each other and I felt his hand instinctively swarmed up to my nape to draw me closer. Before I could react, some sputter in the nearby forest startled us away from each other, then everything fall silent again. I turned over my shoulder to calm my pounding heart after our kiss. I almost missed the sensation as his fingers brushed against my hair clip once more, tensing a bit before they lightly caressed my cheek to gain my attention. I lookad back again in his uncomprehending eyes and hide my frustration in a weak smile.

"I think we better get going. Those lads must be missing their uncle." I joked and gathered myself from my spot and took a hazy step towards our camp.

"I always admired your affection towards those two..." He said and followed me with arms crossed over his chest.

"Well, ...it's not hard to fall for those kids..." I started with a huge grin but Thorin chimed in.

"It is sad you had to leave them so fast..."He continued with a winning smile plastered to his face, but I haven't realized his trap.

"Yeah it was hard for me as well...but it was long ago.." I whispered with guilt but suddenly I came to my senses and clasped my hand over my mouth. Startled I looked back at him while my heart began to race under his blazing gaze and I knew by one look of his, that he got me. I was glued to the spot, when he approached me with a pained expression and narrowed his eyes with suspicion as they met with my worried ones. "Your hair clip..., where did you get it?" He asked menacingly. But I backed away from him with a slight shake of my head.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I told him and turned on my heels marching towards our camp.

"So that is it? Is this your solution?...Running away?...Again!" He shouted storming after me, but it wasn't enough to make me stop.

"I'm in no mood to play games Thorin!" I growled back." It wasn't me who sent the other away after all." I murmured to myself out of earshot and heard him giving up the chase.

"By Durin's beard stop, woman!" He yelled, but I ignored him again."Mimur!" He said in a more pleading tone. Somehow my heart skipped a beat as I heard my nickname from his lips and stopped for a second, just when I heard Fili's forthcoming shouts. We looked at each other with worry then rushed towards the camp.


	10. Enlightenment!

As we reached the others, loud angry argument attracted our attention. I could see that something was wrong and noticed that Kili and Bilbo was missing and Fili caught up to his uncle.

"Finally you're here!" Fili said with a worried expression. We looked at him with alike questioning eyes.

"Fili..what'.." Thorin started but his nephew cut in abruptly.

"Trolls got Kili and Bilbo!" He stated. No more words needed to be said when Thorin reached for his sword and looked at his companions with determined eyes. All of them nod in union as they know what they must do now that their king is here and took their leave towards the trolls, while I gathered the bow Thorin landed me to help them. I felt a presence behind me as I turned and smashed into a hard chest.

"And what do you think you're doing?" The king growled at me. I was a bit shocked to see his emotionless face after our private time together. I rolled my eyes tried to ignore his tone and got next to him but once again he got in my way.

"Honestly, what does it look like?" I asked, and he grabbed me by my shoulders and backed me into a tree.

"No!... You stay here!" He demanded.

"My godsons are out there... fighting. Did you just think that I left them alone trusting in Mahal's grace?" I shouted angrily.

"No. I know you too well and as for this I must do the right thing." He said in a calmer voice and grabbed some rope to tie me to the tree. I was speechless for his actions and my blood started to boil again.

"You can't just left me here!" I cried out desperately.

"Really?...Just wait and see!" He said with a hint of sarcasm as he turned to get after the others.

"Thorin!" I pleaded, whereupon he looked back at me with a sigh.

"I can not fight properly if a have to worry about your safety." He said with imploring eyes. I gasped at his statement and watched as the once love of my life rushed after his companions.

"FUCKING GREAT!" I shouted and tried to loosen my ties with my hands. It appeared to be useless as the ropes cut into my skin deeply and blood begun to drip from the open wounds."Dammit!" I cried out in pain. I lifted my gaze to search for any sing of the others but not even the wind fluttered around me. I had a very bad feeling about the dwarves, so I tried find something which can be used in the salvation process, but it was hopeless. I almost gave up all efforts about my escape, when I heard a familiar whisper in my mind, which got more and more louder.

"Nimril!" It echoed. My mouth fall open at the realization, when I recognized the voice in my head.

"Gandalf?"

"He needs you! Why do you delay?" He asked. I frowned and couldn't believed my own ears.

"Well certainly because I have my boundaries." I started in a teasing tone. "But you may not see yourself cause you're not even here."

"I'm on my way, but I fear to be late...but as for you...you're within reach, so I ask again: Why do you delay?" I was furious after his question.

"As I have mentioned : I'M TIED TO THIS BLOODY TREE!" I snarled, when I heard a disappointed sigh in my head from Gandalf.

"Perhaps, the boundaries just in you're head..." He stated. " Nimril, I must tell you something, but before that you must be the person who you once used to be. Gathered you're strength and free your mind, and your body. You have so much more in you then you have imagined." I stared before me with wide eyes and tried to digest these informations. "Remember when I came back to you, you told me that it was a dream nothing more. And now here you are amongst friends, with your loved ones once more. You are in Middle-Earth where everything is possible." He was right. I was confused where to belong first, but I know, as long as I'm here I want to help them.

"But Gandalf! I don't know how to get rid off these ropes." I whimpered.

"Close your eyes my dear!" He asked and I obeyed. "Feel the power you felt when you dueled with Thorin!" I tried to focus on my feeling back then and concentrated on tearing my ropes. I thought back on the day I met wit Thorin, on the feeling I had for him and then on the day I was banished from Erebor. All the sad memories flashed back before me and I started to weep silently, my hands shaking violently but slowly I felt the ties loosened around my wrists at the same time.

"That's my Blossom!" I heard Gandalf approving words but I couldn't deal with how did it happen just grabbed my weapons and sprinted forward. " Try to gain some time for me." The wizard ordered.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" I thought back.

" With some light. They are trolls after all." He said mockingly and with that his voice was gone. I ran as fast as I could before I see the lights of a campfire, but only after I stepped a few meters closer was I able to hear voices.

"Uh, I meant with the, uh, with, uh, with the seasoning."

"What about the seasoning?"

"Well have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up." The dwarves yelled at Bilbo,and called him a traitor while I sneaked closer to count them and was relieved to hear all their voices. And now what, I thought to myself and remembered Gandalf's last words: with some light. I looked around and noticed, how Bilbo was talking to the trolls and that the others were in their lower safe, except for those who were tied above the fire. I tried to get closer to a nearby rock for shelter without being noticed when I just stepped on a twig with a louder crack. I worriedly peeked around if I was discovered by the sound, when my eyes fell on disbelieving steel blue ones. Thorin stared at me with disapproving eyes and enunciated silently the word _run_ to me. I shook my head angrily and hid behind the rock. And now what, I thought to myself and remembered Gandalf's last words: with some light. Was he just kidding? I wasn't ready for all of this. I gathered my basic knowledge about trolls: huge, ugly, dumb ass creatures scared of sunlight.

"SUNLIGHT!" I screamed silently. Of course, they turn into stones by sunlight, that's why Bilbo struggles to keep them entertained. But the sunrise was still in an hour away. I thought, when the realization hit me. Whatever power helped me in the duals, and helped me to get free from the ropes, could help me to make the sun rise up sooner. But it's just ridiculous, I'm no magician. I laughed hopelessly and so I just stretched out my right arm towards the sky just like in Star Wars films.

"Luke,I am your father!" I whispered with disbelief, and mimicked Darth Veder's voice to relieve the stress with some fun and giggled. Why am I doing this shit? Honestly, I didn't know, but still holding my arm outstretched and concentrated on the sun. I closed my eyes as I imagined how the sun rays, and how they would hurt my eyes, imagined the warm light on my face. Slowly with this realistic imagination before my eyes I opened them, and saw my old friend hurriedly climbing on the opposite rock, where I can certainly saw more light then seconds ago. Was it my mind's doing? Gandalf looked at me expectantly then he straightened himself on the top and lifted his wand up.

"The dawn will take you all!" He exclaimed striked the rock with his staff, splitting it in half, and allowed the sunlight behind it to pour into the clearing. When the sunlight touched the trolls' skin, slowly they begun turning into stone amidst with loud screams and howls of pain. Within seconds, there were three stone statues of trolls in the clearing. All the dwarves cheered for Gandalf, only, the dwarves on the spit, including Dwalin, looked uncomfortable. I came out of my hiding to join Gandalf. He looked me with fatherly pride, and patted my shoulder, while my eyes searched the steel blue gaze of our leader, who did just the same. Hurriedly the wizard started to free the dwarfs on the spit and I decided to help the others in the sacks. I stepped closer to the dwarf king with one of my half smiles our eyes still intertwined and I kneeled before him as my smile turned into a full grin. I almost felt like a predator cornering its prey. I ran my eyes through over his body in this state, enjoying the scene with triumph in my soul, and noticed how the others waited something to happen between us.

"Nice sack!" Finally I mocked with a wink, but before Thorin could respond to my words, knowing that I won't have any better chance, I slapped him hard on his face. My rage over his earlier actions made my hit so hard, that his head sunken to its side. All the others low murmurs and louder cheers went silent as they stared at us. I crawled closer to Thorin and cut the neck of his sack and left him quickly, right before he could grab my left arm. He didn't dare rush after me in his undressed state, but still I could feel his sharp eyes on my back as I helped Gandalf with the others. My old friend looked at my face then he turned back to look at Thorin's before he managed to say.

"Was it necessary?" I just shrugged.

"No! But I owed him one." I teased and helped Bofur to stand up and tossed him his clothes. I curiously peeked over my shoulder to see if Thorin was still angry after our interaction, but my sight was blocked by my two godson's mischievous grin. I smiled a relieved smile back at them, when I noticed their grin got bigger.

"What?" I asked cautiously.

"Nothing." Kili said with a hidden laugh and hugged me. Fili just patted my arm, when I heard their uncle's voice closer than I wanted. I turned my head in search of his whereabouts just to find out he was right behind me.

"Where did you go to, if I may ask?" He asked Gandalf right behind my back with his eyes fixed on us. Instinctively, Fili and Kili lowered their gazes and left my side while I stepped away to gain some space.

"To look ahead." The wizard stated stepping next to me.

"What brought you back?" Thorin asked and looked between us with suspicion.

"Looking behind. Nasty business. Still, they are all in one piece." Was Gandalf's respond.

"No thanks to your burglar." The king spat and his eyes turned away in search of the hobbit.

"He had the nous to play for time. None of the rest of you thought of that." I said in a much calmer tone than I felt myself at the moment. Thorin's blue eyes snapped back on my face after my words and closed the space between us with one huge step.

"And you!" He growled. I could tell by his features and by how his body quivering with rage that he had no idea what to say or even do to me. We stared in silence into the others eyes and slowly as he noticed his old playmate, his furry was gone and gave its place to dispbelief and astonishment. He lifted his right palm maybe to reach out for me, but stopped abruptly in mid air, as he couldn't believe for his own eyes.

"Mimur!" He whispered but not as quietly for the others watching us nearby not to hear. After hearing my nickname the other's low murmurs and gasps filled the air. Gandalf walked to one of the troll statues and thumped it with his staff, with a pleased smile on his face.

"They must have come down from the Ettenmoors." He stated catching our attention once more. Very slowly Thorin tore his gaze off my face and joined the wizard, while Bilbo sneaked next to me.

"What's mimur?" He asked curiously. My eyes lingered on Thorin as he approached to the three troll statues discussing things with Gandalf.

"Its not _it_!" I started. " It's _her_!...And it's me!" I corrected him giving credit for my statement by turning to look at him. "It means : _tiny_ in khuzdul."

"Oh..! So..ahm.. you knew each other before." He said and I gave him a slight smile and nod.

"You know Master Baggins we are alike in some ways!" I teased him and reached for his right shoulder as we walked towards the others gathering around or leader. He looked at me with open confusion. "We both gave up our warm home and well known lives in search of an adventure." I patted his shoulder as we both gave a big sigh.

"Well maybe something's waiting for us. Maybe something greater than pipe smoke, daily warm meals and a comfortable arm chair. Right?" He asked and looked up at me with determined features but still I could find concern in his eyes.

"Indeed." Was all I could say before we reached the company.

"They could not have moved in daylight." Gandalf said looking at Thorin meaningfully.

"There must be a cave nearby." The dwarf leader stated and motion to the others to gather their belongings and search for the cave. Thorin waited for the others to depart first and when we were left alone he grabbed me by my arm and turned me to face him.

"Not you Trisha!" He said as his eyes bore into mine. I gulped nervously as his face came closer and tried to focus on our surroundings and not on his lips again.

"How?" He demanded, but I was too nervous and too slow in answer for his liking. He stared at me silently and searched my features. I lowered my gaze and for the first time during my time back here in Middle-Earth, I was speechless before him. I noticed how his hands clenched into fists like he tried to hold back himself from doing something incredible stupid. He took a deep breath and went after the others. I stood there vulnerable with my surfacing memories and feelings, alone. I haven't even noticed the warm stream of tears dripping from my chin until Gandalf looked after where I delay and approached me with his outstretched hands to dry my tears.

"Come my dear! We must go after them. I sense something in the air what troubles me." I gave a silent nod and walked after the company as a ghost. I felt less strong after his recognition. I thought that it would be liberating if he knows the truth. That I could be once me, after all these years, that we could speak our mind freely over the events of our mutual past, but that feeling never came. I felt miserable, so tired and sad, even mad but mostly numb even without my drugs I used to take to gain some peace for my troubled thoughts, and broken heart. In this state I felt useless for this quest, and once again I wanted to curl up into a ball next to my well known room, back in the hospital and wait for the darkness to liberate me from my past. I didn't have the opportunity to think through what would happen if Thorin finds out who I am, but after that happened, I just couldn't beer the thought of him being in arms reach, with my formerly rejected feelings, and without the comfort of my fiancé. It simply would not do. I felt Gandalf squeezing my hand for support as we reached the troll hoard. Most of the dwarves were inside exploring the cave, but after I felt the stench coming from inside I changed my mind and stayed outside on the fresh air. I stood there almost for half an hour when I saw Gloin and Bofur emerge from the cave with a chest and two shovels. I stepped closer with curiosity and watched how they buried their treasure in the ground. Ever so slowly all the members of the company came out of the cave with Thorin holding a new sword with interest in his hand. I stayed behind with Bilbo, to avoid the stench, when the wizard exited the cave and headed over to where we were sitting. He handed Bilbo the sword he just found in the cave. I could tell by the look on his features that our little fellow didn't quite understand why Gandalf gave him a sword.

"I can't take this." He said with fear in his voice.

"The blade is of Elvish make which means it will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby." Gandalf said, as he haven't heard what he just said.

"I have never used a sword in my life." Bilbo protested, but I patted his hand and gave him a smile to encourage him to take the weapon.

"And I hope you never have to. But if you do, remember this: true courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one." I heard Gandalf finished, but faraway sounds caught my interest. I slowly stood up and walked forward into the woods. I haven't noticed when did Thorin joined me.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I don't know." I whispered. "But I don't like it!" I looked him in the eye with worry. He gave me an understanding nod and went ahead in search of the strange voice. I was about to follow him when suddenly he was by my side, grabbed me by my arm and rushed back to the others while he drawn me behind him.

"Something's coming!" He announced.

"Stay together! Hurry now. Arm yourselves." Was Gandalf's reply.

"Here!" I heard Fili's voice behind me, and landed one of his dual swords to protect myself. "Take it!"

"But Fili!" I started to protest. He got impatient and forced my right hand to grab the handle of his weapon.

"You don't have your own weapons, right?" I just nodded. "Then use this till we get you one! I can not bear the thought you being unprotected!" He said with a sad expression in his eyes.

"Damn! You are related to your uncle aren't you!" I teased with a hint of smile on my face. I patted him on the shoulder and turned my full attention back to the approaching sound, but haven't missed Thorin's eyes on us.


	11. Dawn of past!

As we were waiting for our doom or something else Bilbo slowly drawn his sword and looked at it. He then followed the others by my side, who have ran off into the woods.

Radagast rode at full speed through the forest on his rabbit-drawn sled. He pulled up short by the company screaming the words :"Thieves! Fire! Murder!"

"Radagast! Radagast the Brown. Ah. What on earth are you doing here?" Gandalf asked confused.

"I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong." Said the other wizard as his eyes landed on me. He gaped as if he saw a ghost or something wich didn't went unnoticed by the others. I was totally confused and messed up by this time by all these happenings and crossed my arms before my chest gaving Gandalf a stern look. He noticed my mood change and pulled me behind him as he turned to his old friend.

"Yes?" He asked, but noticed how the brown wizard still gawking at me and imperceptibly motioned with his forefinger toward Radagast who frowned and blinked in confusion as he tried to open his mouth to speak, but shuts it abruptly. He opened his mouth again, but closed it again, like something was wrong. He has forgotten what he wanted to say and lifted his eyes to met with Gandalf's mischievous ones. I followed his gaze and found out instatly that it was my mentors doing, but I didn't know why.

"Oh, just give me a minute." Radagast muffled with almost closed mouth. "Um, oh, I had a thought, and now I've lost it. It was, it was right there, on the tip of my tongue." He curled up his tongue, and looked surprised. "Oh, it's not a thought at all; it's a silly old..." He said before Gandalf pulled a stick insect out of his mouth.

"-stick insect!" Said the brown wizard. The dwarves and Bilbo looked flustered but sawing that I almost couldn't hide my laugh, while Radagast and Gandalf went off a few paces to speak privately, far from my spot. I stared before me and tried to understand Gandalf's former behavior, and read their lips to know what were they talking about. I got a feeling it was about me. From the corner of my eyes I saw how Thorin pacing up before me when he suddenly turned and looked at me.

"You!" But then there was a long pause which I took advantage of happily.

" Yeah Thorin it's ME, but I would be truly grateful if you use my full name Lintris, or Blossom, but just not those flags such as woman and you!" I sighed with frustration and frowned at him. He stepped closer and continued like I haven't said anything before.

"You... know that wizard!" He stated harshly pointing at me with his finger. I smacked his pointing finger from my face and stood up angrily.

"And why the hell do you think that?" I asked him in his tone, attracting the attention of the others.

"From the way he was looking at you! As if he had seen a ghost from the past." He said as he towered above me with his full length.

"I swear to Mahal Thorin that I didn't understand it myself. I couldn't even remember if I have met with him or not." I chimed in defending myself.

"Still, I have the feeling you don't tell me everything... And I don't like it." He said as his blue orbs bore into mine.

"Sooo many things happened to me in the past...you don't even know...you don't even care."I whimpered closing my eyes to got full control over my exploding emotions towards him and missed how his eyes darkened at my words while he got closer to me. It was silent, too silent for my taste. There were no chirping, no any other sound of the forest as we stood there. When I opened my eyes waiting for his reaction I was shocked to see Thorin stood inches from me with half lifted arms towards my upper and an almost pleading look on his face, when suddenly he tore his eyes off me, pulling his sword out. I was mesmerized by his movements like I saw his actions in slow motion as he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me to his chest in a defending way and slashed his weapon forward where a wargs head peaked out right from the place where I stood seconds ago. Thorin striked again and killed it using his sword. Another Warg attacked from the other side, Kili shot it with an arrow, bringing it down. However, it got back up, only to be killed by Dwalin. I was trembling. Something like this was never happened before my eyes. I've never seen war or violent death before. Of course I was trained by dwarfs and elves long ago how to hold weapons and defend myself, but here and now was different, even the horror of my therapy seemed peace of a cake now. I looked up, trembling at Thorin whose hand was still holding me close to him. He looked back at me as he noticed my shaking body and in the dim light of the forest I saw him as the man of my life, my savior with his glory around his head owing to the light that illuminating from behind him. My vision blurred for the events around the two of us. I only had eyes for him and every fiber of my being focused on the confused dwarf before me. Before I could think clearly I grabbed him hard by the hem of his coat, pulling him to me and kissed him rough on his lips. He was so shocked that his full lips hadn't even reacted to my touch. Thanked to the loud howls of other huge dogs, my reckless action went almost unnoticed, except for Gandalf and Balin himself. All the others were searching in the direction of the sounds. I slowly let the surprised king go and pulled away from him to grab my bow. I slightly missed his movement as if he regained his consciousness and wanted to react to my actions, but it was too late by then. He searched the others with his eyes and became his old self.

"Warg-Scouts! Which means an Orc pack is not far behind." He stated angrily.

"Orc pack?" I heard Bilbo's frightened voice from behind me.

"Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?" Was Gandal's reaction.

"No one." Thorin protested with unhidden confusion on his features.

"Who did you tell?" Gandalf shouted at our leader.

"No one, I swear. What in Durin's name is going on?" I felt Thorin's confusion turned into a light fear while Gandalf features turned into sinister.

"You are being hunted." The wizard said, before Dwalin chimed in.

"We have to get out of here."

"We can't! We have no ponies; they bolted." Ori commented. The other wizard crawled closer and turned to Gandalf with determination in his eyes.

"I'll draw them off." Radagast said, as his old friend stood before him with doubt in his voice.

"These are Gundabad Wargs; they will outrun you."

These are Rhosgobel Rabbits; I'd like to see them try." And that's what Radagast told Gandalf before he shot out from the forest to divert the scouts attention from us. I felt someones rough hand gabbed mine and draged me with him from the shelter of the forest into a more exposed rocky plain. With still holding hands I ran after my companion who whas none other then the always cheerful Bofur himself.

"C'mon lass! We're chased. Better catch up to the others. No time for muse abou' certain event of the past hours, is it?" I looked around at that statement and found out that he was right. We were the only ones behind our group, and then he looked back with a huge grin on his face winking at me. I was shocked by his hint and got angry with my stupid, hasty actions with towards his leader. The company rushes across the plain while in the distance, Radagast was chased by the wargs. One of them crashed while trying to catch him. As we ran across the plain, we saw the wargs not too far from us, so we hid behind the rocks. I was breathless, my muscles burned as I heard Gandalf said.

"Stay together."

"Move!" Was Thorin's answer and again I was dragged by Bofur. I've noticed the well known formula: we run and Radagast drives his sled to gain some time for us, although as he did so, beneath an overhanging projection of rock; he ducked, but the Orc on the Warg behind him got knocked off. As the chase continued after us, Thorin stopped behind a rock so that he won't be seen by the wargs. It was terrifying how our situation affected me. I could hardly breath after the long distance running. I felt all my muscles tightened on such places I didn't even know exists. I tried to calm my exploding nerves while our leader gave the signal to run again, so I did the only one comforting thing that came up to my mind and closed my eyes as my fingers searched for the well known curves of my engagement ring. Though it was in vain. I felt the former place of my loved treasure empty. I looked at my hands and remembered with shock that along the run I fall once, and Bofur ran after me and grabbed my hand on which the ring used to be. It occurred before that the ring slipped off my finger for it was a bit large for me. But it didn't appeared to me until now, that Bofur's tight grip on my hand, repeated the same event. I let go off his hand with such elan that I missed his and Throin's reaction as I ran out of the cover, to find my ring right around the spot where I thought it might fallen.

"Trisha, no! Come back!" Thorin yelled right before a warg scout attacked my back. Bofur tried to jerk me back, along with the frightened Bifur, but I was out of their reach and this situation caused them to left the shelter of their hidding place, when suddenly the dwarf king's arm emerged from behind me and slashed the wolfs head down and pulled me back towards him with as much strenght as he can afford, which caused an almost twisted left arm and great pain for me, as I bumped into him.

"Come on! Quick!" I heard Gandalf's instructions as I was pushed into Fili's direction by Thorin with unconcealed rage, just in case if I had some suicidal thought again. I looked at my godson with plea which he misunderstood as fear and gave me a reassuring nod as we continued running.

"Where are you leading us?" Turned Thorin to the wizard. Gandalf didn't answer, just searched for my eyes. I got a terrible feeling about his plan and as for an answer my stomach twitched together. I closed my eyes again and took some deep breaths. I tried to be as calm as possible for I don't wanted to be a burden again. Perhaps I wasn't familiar in a real combat, but I was skilled with an arrow, smaller knives and with swords. I decided to help them. As the warg scouts chased Radagast, one of them stopped and scented the air and we took cover behind an outcropping of rock. The scout and his warg appeared on top of the outcropping, scenting the air. Thorin looked at Kili and gave him a slight nod. I looked at them with determination on my features. Seeing my opportunity to prove myself and readying an arrow, I stepped out to shoot the warg, when abruptly the king's head turned wholly to me just in time to find me stretching my bow fully exposed to the animal as my blood pounded in my ears. Despite my state of concentration I could still heard him cursed in khuzdul "'Anjubkhaz!" (very annoying person) for my rash actions. The fact that Thorin called me annoying made me much more nervous than I already was that I missed my aim while Kili quickly stepped out next to me and shot the Warg. The Warg and the orc on it fall near the dwarves tossing up our leader. The struggling beast attacked Thorin with its fangs so close to his cheeks that it drew blood on his skin. I grabbed one of Fili's daggers in hurry and throw it into the wargs skull right before the others could react and before it could harm him again. I couldn't celebrate for more then a second when I was pushed and forced into run by Fili who gently patted my back admiringly. The other wargs and orcs stopped chasing Radagast as they heard roars and screams from behind our rocks. Dwalin and I rushed to Thorin's side and tried to gather him up when he shook of my arm and turned away with shimmering anger on his features which was meant only for me. I understood why he was so mad at me, not only I risked my life but the others as well. But now unlike other occasions it made me more determined to save them. I waited till the last dwarf was before me and gathered my courage as I grabbed another arrow to shoot anything what threatens the company. I ran right after them searching for aim and shot one or two scouts during the chase, but still they slowly surrounded us from all sides.

"There they are!" Was Gloin's sarcastic remark.

"This way! Quickly!" Said Gandalf and we ran for a while longer, then halt in a clearing as we saw wargs on all sides.

"There's more coming!" Kili said desperately.

"Kili!" Said Thorin and looked his nephew in the eye. "Shoot them!"

"We're surrounded!" Fili stated as Kili begun shooting at the warg and the warg-riders, killing some of them.

"Where is Gandalf?" I heard Kili's voice, just when I glanced around to saw the old man's pointy hat dived under a distant, large rock.

"He has abandoned us!" Dwalin spat in anger, as I saw them gathered closer backs to each other near the very rock Gandalf disappeared by and completely forgot about my whereabouts. As the wargs approached the others, Ori shot a rock at one of them with his slingshot, with no effect, as I shot the other in the eye from a short distance of the dwarves. Thorin pulled out his sword to prepare for a close combat and yelled.

"Hold your ground!" Right before Gandalf poped up from a crack in the rock.

"This way, you fools!" The wizard said with searching eyes and when he finally found me farther away from them he motioned with his arm.

"Come on, move! Quickly, all of you! Go, go, go!" Thorin said, while pushing the others towards the shelter as the wargs approached them. The dwarves and Bilbo slide into the large crack in the rock. Thorin killed a warg that got too close. Kili shot another, and lifted his head up in search of upcoming danger when his eyes landed on my outstretched arms with the bow in them and whispered.

"Trisha!" For that one little word from his nephews mouth was enough for Thorin to boost his head in fear as his blue orbs met my focused ones. From his angel it looked like I wanted to shot him but I was aware of the beast behind him and with every fiber of my being I concentrated to aim for its throat and unleashed my arrow. I saw when Thorin gasped for air and didn't dare to move until he heared the dull thud of the wargs dead body right behind him. He turned back then again to face me and ran towards me fit such speed that I was scooped up in his arms in one blink and dropped down in the cave after Kili. My landing wasn't very succesful as my ankle twisted and I grabbed the nearby wall for support.

"Nine, ten" I heard Gandalf's voice next to me as he counted us when Thorin slided between the crack last, and landed right before me with fury on his features. Suddenly we heard an elven horn from above and listened to the conflict from inside the crack. One of the orcs, shot by an arrow, fall into the cave. Thorin stepped closer to the corpse his eyes never leaving mine as he plucked out the arrow and examined its origin. I didn't dare to look at him, just lowered my head down with a mixture of hurt and physical pain my ankle caused me.

"Elves." He cursed, while the others found a pathway at the and of the cave.

"I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no?" Dwalin asked his king. Thorin gave him a slight nod just when Bofur chimed in.

"Follow it, of course!" Then threw away the arrow and got closer to me in three large steps. The others began following the path, which lead us to be alone once again. My eyes lingered on his hard features as he backed me to the wall, and in that moment I wanted to became part of the rocks behind me to avoid his anger. I tried to sneak next to him when his arms reached for the wall next to my face blocking my way out of this situation. I looked at him with fear and bit my lower lip with such force in my nervousness that it drew a few drop of blood. His darkened eyes averted from mine and lowered to my lips, as I felt his other hand came up to my face and he cleaned my lips from the blood with his thumb. I didn't dare to move when his eyes snapped back and he gave me a frown of rage.

"I remember to told you to follow my orders, and move fast with the others." He said with a mixture of anger and hurt in his voice. The anger I understood very much, but about the other feeling I was clueless." I said that as a member of our company you must obey me." And that was it. The shy and fearful little bunny roared with fury in my chest as I struggled to stand straight and pushed him by the chest.

"Really? And I remember that despite the one moment, I endangered others, I was not a burden at all, since I saved your ass two times in a row." I hissed, when all of a sudden he struck his hand right next to my head in the stone. I winced for his rage, but still kept the eye contact.

"Trisha you must obey for my orders as I am the LEADER. I am responsible for you!" He roared into my face. I smiled weakly as all my efforts to avid my emotions for him was gone by now.

"I am just a humble human being, your majesty...not even worthy of your anger. I was asked to help you in your quest, and that's what I shall do. Even though I'm not as skilled in battle such as yourself. Allow your servant to apologize for her rash former behavior and take her leave." I still held his schocked gaze. His emotions turned from fury to disbelief and sorrow after my words, and I took his silence to try and leave him but as I did so my ankle gave in. I fell on the ground, when I felt his arms sneaked under my knees and back as he lifted me up from my previous spot and cradled me to his broad chest. But before we could say another word to each other Gandalf marched back to us with worry.

"What makes you two delay?" He asked in his fatherly tone.

"Nothing...my ankle just twisted and Thorin helped me with the matter. We are coming right after you Gandalf." Was my answer, while Thorin looked at me in disbelief as I didn't said a word about our fight. He knew quite well that Gandalf was some kind of grandfather figure to me and wouldn't be fond of his anger towards his loved ones.

"I think that would be wise." Gandalf said with a stern look and dissapeared at the corner of the cave. Thorin followed him in silence, but after our long journey I allowed myself to clear my thoughts and leaned to him. I noticed his breath caught in his chest for my movement, but didn't protest. By the time we reached the end of the path, we found out that it eventually opened out into an open area; with a very familiar valley below, and in that valley there laythe city of Rivendell.

"Oh my god!" I breathed, as I laid my eyes on the beautiful sight before me, with unhidden concern in my voice. I closed my eyes in disbelief and grief.

"The Valley of Imladris. In the Common Tongue, it's known by another name." Gandalf said and approached us, his eyes never leaving mine. Maybe he searched for any sign of fright or discomfort over the past events when tha last time I was here, but my face turned into a mask. I didn't want to face the pain I caused and I had from my previous encounter with the elves.

"Rivendell." I heard Bilbo's small voice from behind, when Thorin turnedto the wizard with me still in his arms.

"This was your plan all along, to seek refuge with our enemy."

"You have no enemies here, Thorin Oakenshield. The only ill-will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself." My mentor stated.

"You think the Elves will give our quest their blessing? They will try to stop us." Was Thorin's reply, and then I felt fully ignored by the two of them. It was a silly feeling me being in the leaders arms while he argued with one of the Istari.

"Of course they will. But we have questions that need to be answered. If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tact and respect and no small degree of charm." He pointed out as he lowered his gaze to me as a signal that I was involved in that part of the deal. "Which is why you will leave the talking to me." Thorin mumbled some words in khuzdul which I hardly understood but it was something between: bloody wizard and fine, so the company walked across a bridge and entered Rivendell. Bilbo gazed in awe at the beauty of the place, but the dwarves looked uneasy. I felt discomfort with every step further in this place and tried to got free from Thorin's tight grip, when I noticed a dark haired elf approaching us.

"Mithrandir."

"Ah, Lindir!" They greeted each other, and I felt our leaders muscle thightened even more as he whispered something to Dwalin.

"Lastannem i athrannedh i Vruinen." _(We heard you had crossed into the Valley._ ) He added, when Gandalf chimed in.

"I must speak with Lord Elrond."

"My lord Elrond is not here." Was Lindir'a answer, as he looked around our members.

"Not here? Where is he?" Gandalf urged him when suddenly elvish horns from earlier are heard again. Thorin turned with such speed that my face glued to his chest in the process and saw a group of armed horsemen approaching along the bridge at a rapid rate.

"Ifridî bekâr!"( Ready weapons!') "Hold ranks!" Throin bellowed, and stepped behind Dwalin and Bifur, while Kili and Fili stepped to his two sides. As he did so I looked at his troubled features, while he holded me closer to his upper body, like he wanted to protect me. A very well known but unwelcomed warm feeling spread across my body, and I averted my gaze from him in hope that I could hide my blush. The dwarves bunched up together into a tight circle around the six of us with their weapons pointed outward, while the mounted Elves arrive and ride in circles around the company. Eventually, they stopped, and one certain elf, separated himself from the others. I was well hid behind Dwalin's shoulders, but still his melodic voice rang the alarm in my head.

"Gandalf." It was definitely Elrond's voice and Gandalf bowed gracefully.

"Lord Elrond. Mellonnen! Mo evínedh?" ( _My friend! Where have you been?_ ) The wizard asked him.

"Farannem 'lamhoth i udul o charad. Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui." _(We've been hunting a pack of Orcs that came up from the South. We slew a number near the Hidden Pass.) Was_ Elrond's answer as he dismounted from his horse, then he gave Gandalf a hug. "Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders. Something, or someone, has drawn them near." He held up an orc sword and showed it to everyone, then handed it to Lindir.

"Ah, that may have been us." But Elrond couldn't fully pay attention to his old friend anymore, as he recognized Thorin. Fortunately I hid my face into his chest, and he looked at me with concern and shift beneath me in question as I heard the elf approached him slowly.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain."

"I do not believe we have met." He growled while lifted up his gaze to met with Elrond's.

"You have your grandfather's bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled under the Mountain." Said Elrond ignoring the rudeness in the dwarf's tone.

"Indeed; he made no mention of you." Thorins finished, and i pinched him hard on his arm as a sign and stop being insolent. Ignoring this insult, Elrond turned to the dwarves and spoke in Elvish. The dwarves didn't understand what he was saying.

"Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor. Boe i annam vann a nethail vin." _(_ _Light the fires, bring forth the wine. We must feed our guests._ )

"What is he saying? Does he offer us insult?" Gloin asked with rising rage, and so the dwarves grew bellicose gripping their weapons uneasily, just when I thought I must intervene.

"No, master Gloin, he's offering you food." I mumbled into the leaders chest then peaked out a bit to see if they got the message, but as I did so, my green fox eyes met with stormy gray ones.

"Ah well, in that case, lead on." Was Gloin's answer, but all the others around us stared in amazement at the sight unfolding before their eyes, as Elrond leaned closer to me with a shocked expressin on his features.

"Henig?" ( _My child?_ ) I heraed him whisper with misty eyes.

"Im!...Ada!" ( _I am!..father!_ ) Was my reply, which caused loud gasps among the others. I was scared that Thorin would drop me if I wasn't clinging to him so desperately. It was long ago when I first met with my adoptive father. He knew well my grandpa as well as my situation with my real parents, and with every single meeting his measured behavior towards me changed into something pure paternal. There was even a great feast held for me as his household took me in as his own child. His three other children were like the very siblings that I didn't have at home since I was an only child. I had occasions when I lived with them as an equal elven maid with her own room in his home. He took my features with his hungry eyes and lifted me from Thorin's arms like a toddler with one swift effortless move. It was strange how easily Thorin let him do it. There was a second I thought that he would yell something into his face and run in the other direction, but instead he gritted his teeth and averted his eyes from our reunion.

"Iellig!" _(My daughter!_ ) Father breathed and cradled me to his chest in a wrong angle and I hissed with pain, caused by my ankle. "Prestad?" _(Is there trouble?)_ He asked with fear in his tone, for what I must gave him a hug and smile up at him.

"Nin talif norn!" ( _My ankle has twisted!_ ) He nodded in understanding and led me away from the others just when I heard Thorin roared after him.

"Where are you taking her?" Elrond slightly turned and gave Gandalf a weird look as a signal of his dissatisfaction towards his guests behavior, and turned to leave again.

"Boe de nestad!" ( _She needs to be healed!_ ) He stated while heading to the healing chambers of our house with me in his arms.


	12. Truth!

I felt how upset were the others knowing my true identity, to be some kind of elven princess. What scared me the most was Thorin's expression. I knew I lied to him back in the past about my relationship with the elves, specially with Elrond but I was too frightened to tell him the truth, even now. But it didn't matter anymore, when I felt my ada's lips on my forehead I slowly drifted into sleep in his arms.

I felt completely numb at that stage of darkness. Couldn't feel how the setting sun heated my cheeks with it's last rays. Couldn't feel how my ada's fingers caressed my hands in my deep slumber after I fall unconscious in his arms while he brought me to my old room. But I did feel Gandalf's worry, like his mind was connected to mine. I did heard my godson's frightened voices in my head like they were beside my bed asking if I'm going to wake up any time soon. I felt HIS gaze on my face, burning through my eyelids as if by this simple action I would open my fox eyes which he was so desperate to see again. I felt every single emotion from others around me and I was eager to show them that I was fine, but my body didn't obey me. _"What's happening!"_ I cried inside.

"How is she doing?- I heard Thorin's voice and low murmurs from outside my door. Suddenly the door opened with a louder squeak and someone came inside.

"Thorin...she is giving up." Gandalf told him with such sadness in his voice that it made my heart bleed. "I can't feel her around us right now!" He stated.

"What's the meaning of this?" The king demanded. Gandalf gave a deep sigh, but no answers. "What do you mean she is not around, while I can see her laying in this bed before me?" He lowered his tone dangerously which meant no good. I heard more footsteps cornering my bed before I heard my ada's tired words.

"It means Lord Thorin that my daughter's mind finally gave in. She couldn't bear being between two worlds anymore...GANDALF!" He pleaded my old friend to continue for him.

"As for this...my friend...her soul choose not to follow her body...Back home in her own world, they did something horrible to her, so that no longer she can be in two different worlds at the same time. While being here she still exists in the other... however she'll be missing only for a few ours ..maybe days. But her mind can not cope with the idea of such place as our own is exists. She once used to it, but after the medical treatment of their healers, that is not an option anymore. ...She is suffering." I heard someone's pacing up in the room and from the thunderous growl next to my bed I could have sworn it was the dwarf king.

"What did they do to her?" He roared.

"We are not sure...but before I say anything, I must ask you to calm down and listen to me carefully!" Gandalf said.

"And how am I supposed to be calm, when you're telling me tha she's not gonna make it?" Thorin yelled back.

"Master dwarf!" Elrond demanded "As long as you enjoy my house's hospitality I must request you to behave properly...Your are not the only one who is worried about her." I could hear a huge crash as one of the furnitures, maybe a chair was cropped on the nearby wall accompanied with a loud roar, while someone hurried out the door with large stomping. And there was silence again. After a few seconds another weak voice disturbed the silence when I recognized Kili's scared tone.

"Gandalf...what did they do to her?" He asked with fear.

"They make her believe, that this is not real." I could hear loud gasps after the wizards statement. "That it was only caused by her poor mental function. That her mind doing tricks with her, and for this they forced her into a healing house for mentally ill people. Abandoned by her own parents she was forced to live there for years...even forced her to take such medical artifact that caused her more damage in her head then letting her believe that those adventures she had back here were true. She almost lost everything, her family,...her friends,...her life,...herself...and I could never forgive myself for betraying her like this." I heard someone's muffled weeping sound in the room, and it made me bear my state more worse.

"So...you are telling us that she is not the Trisha we used to know?" Fili chimed in.

"No Fili!" Gandalf stated. "I tell you that the woman lying in this very bad was never as close to that dearly loved girl who she once was, before all this monstrosity happened to her. But according her treatment her mind is cooping with this information that it is clearly possible that two different kind of world could exists beside each other, furthermore she could pass from one to another...she is fighting..."

"..for her life!" Throin's deep voice filled the air around me.

"Indeed!" Was Gandalf's answer and all I could hear that the large gathering in my room left. I was scared to be around in the numbness and in the silence again when suddenly I noticed a low murmur right next to my ears.

"I don't know if you could hear me...but if you do...then you must fight Trisha!" I recognized Throin's voice. "Or else anything you've done here, for my family, for me would be useless. ...Oh Mahal help me!..I'm not really good at this...Please Mimur!... You must wake up... You can not abandon me again..not like this..you must wake up and face Dis's disappointment towards you for letting her all alone, when she needed you the most,... face Frerin's absence in your life,... and you must face my wrath for running away from me like that...you never now how desperately I wanted to find you when I noticed your empty bedchamber in Erebor. That I crashed every single relics of your being there until I collapsed on the floor trying to find peace with the idea of you not being with me anymore...and face the truth that the needed peace would never came...whenever I laid eyes on other women I could only see your face,...your beautiful fox, green eyes...your full lips...For Mahal balls...I couldn't even get you out of my head while I bring other women in my bed...I could only ever think of you being there with me...I remember how your skin felt against my fingertips, how sweat voices you make under my touch, how your lips moved along with mine...I couldn't bear to lose you...not again!" As I listened to his confession I felt as my soul divided from my body and I emerged from my laying shell to finally look around. I wasn't scared at this part. I felt strangely calm and peaceful as I looked into the eyes of our leader. Unshed tears clouded his blue orbs and I was desperate to reach out for him. To comfort him with all my restrained emotions towards him, and in the very moment I reached out for his hand on mine I felt him. I felt the warmth of his skin. All of a sudden all my senses came back. I could feel his warm breath near me, his muscular smoky scent. But what scared me was that how he looked at my lifeless body. "Oh Mimur!...Please do come back to me!" He cried out once and he snuggled his face into my chest gently weeping. I stepped closer and caressed his head and bent down to give him a peck. He abruptly lifted his face from its previous place and looked shocked. He looked around as if he was searching for someone else around us, but found nothing. He turned back to my face and I laid myself in my body once again as he bent down to capture my cold lips with his. With that he emerged from his place and left just when a single teardrop left my closed eyes. I felt the warmth of my room, the smells around me, and just when I thought that I finally succeeded to win in this game numbness took me again. I was cold and frightened when blackness took me once again.

After a very long time I heard whispers again. I thought it was my company around me in my room, but after a few seconds I recognized a woman's voice in my head. A very familiar voice.

"Nimril!" I heard again.

"Galadriel?" I heard her giggling a bit and I realized how I missed those sound of hers. "But how is this possible? You were not even in Imladris by the time we arrived.

"Our minds are connected. How do you feel?" She asked me with concern and in that very moment I felt someone gently brushed my temple. I gasped at the odd sensation.

"I don't really know. So many emotion swirls inside me that I almost can't breath. There is joy after I am here again in the most welcoming house of Middle-Earth with my ada. There is relief cause my company is alive and safe. There is saddens after I heard what Gandalf said and there is angst for what might happen to me. I Just don't know what is this thing with me...I feel like I'm all alone again in my old hospital room numbed by drugs. What's happening to me?" I asked her frightened.

"Do not fret little one. Your body is just only an outer shell for your soul, and as for this it is unharmed. But your soul and your mind is broken at some point due to your crossing the borders. After your medical treatment back home nothing is going to be the same for you. It seems as you must choose between our worlds, yours and mine. Even your health shows that this would be the only solution for you to stay alive..." I felt as a huge weight placed upon my heart. "But before you choose you must learn something first...Long ago, there were five wizards wondered under the stars of Middle-Earth. There was the head of the Istars Saruman the white, and there was Gandalf the gray,... Radagst the brown...and there were two blue wizards. Alatar and Pallando. They volunteered to head East to find the way to weaken Sauron's power over Middle-Earth and stir up rebellions against those serving the dark lord. They were successful, however...they never returned to the West after their journey with Saruman. Their ultimate fate remains unknown." She took a big breath and remain silent, but I was confused more then ever and I chimed in.

"And what is this whole story has to do with me?"

"We sent Gandalf to find them, but first it was in vain. We tried to contact them through the palaintirs and we discovered something very new to our world. During their journey they came across what we called the gate. This gate allowed us to visit a different world. So when we located the exact place where it was Gandalf volunteered for this errand... And finally he succeeded. From what we learned about this new world made the gate dangerous to cross for both inhabitants, but we also realized that the blue wizards must have done that in order to disappear from Middle-Earth. When Gandalf entered your home land there was Alatar waiting for him as if he knew when his old friend would turn up."

"So these wizards settled themselves in my world somehow?" I asked with disbelief in my voice.

"Not only have they settled, but Alatar had found a way to fool our nature's law..."

"How so?"

"He procreated a new life, and assured Gandalf that this child would be a gift from the Maia's who could help to defeat Sauron. However the child seemed, a mere human child, but in fact it was a miracle how a new life was produced by a wizard's magic.

"Which means...?" I asked to find out the origin of this child. I heard as Galadriel took a deep sigh and continued.

"She was created by magic and was given to foster parents to raise her up." I gaped at her last sentence.

"She was...a girl?" I gasped. "Why do I have a feeling that I am involved in this?" I asked.

"It was you Nimril!" She answered. I was shocked by the fact that originally I belonged to Middle-Earth, and my father or creator was no other then one of the wizards as well. "It was a miracle how you were created, but as you have already found out since you came back you have so much strength at some point that you could use your magic. I felt it when you first used it against the trolls."

"But it was nothing particular. I just tired to do as I was told...but truly it was mine doing?" I asked with disbelief.

"You have your ancestors power in you, but unfortunately there was no one there to train you. With some help you could be as great as the other Istars are and occupy your place among them. You are an Istari yourself, and the first woman wizard in Middle-Earth."

"HOLLY MOTHER OF GOD!" I blurted out loudly. "Wait a second, why Alatar gave me to foster parents?"

"He thought that it would be a wise choice to raise you as a normal human child, with parents, a family, but he never gave up to show you where you trully belong." My brain had filld the gaps with her last sentence, and I cried out.

"Alatar was my grandfather." It was more a statement then a question.

"He decided according to his appearance he chosen to be your grandfather than other person in your life." Galadriel continued.

"But if he was an Istar then wasn't he supposed to be immortal?" Was my question.

"We don't know what truly happened to them back then or what claimed his life, but it seems his last great enchantment was you, and as for this his magic lives within you now. With his death all his powers has passed to you." She finished.

"And still I wasn't able to produce a single spell back home after he passed,..just now." I stated bitingly.

"Probably it has something to do with being a part of Middle-Earth and when you came back, your power unleashed."

"So you are saying that if I can master to control my magic then I can produce such spells that can take me back home?" I asked hopefully, but there came no answer for another minute.

"Nimril!" Started Galadriel. "As I have told you, you can no longer pass from one to another without risking your life. With those medical treatments at your world you can not cope with being torn between two worlds. You must choose between your two homes." Galadriel's voice turned into whisper.

"What if I choose to stay here?" I asked and if she knew she answered the unspoken question as well.

"You will be dead to the others causing them great pain and loss. They would mourn you. Your memory would linger in the heart of your loved ones for years."

"And what if I choose to leave Middle-Earth?"

"You would loose your life here. All the memories of this place would be erased from your mind, and soul. Your magic would vanish, along with your friends, your adventures, family and love." She said, and it almost appeared to be the best solution. I could go back and have a semi-normal life with Marc. But as the elven queen was connected to my mind she could hear my thoughts and added quickly. "But, every living being who bound to you would face your loss." I got frustrated after her words.

"So my memory would erased but theirs would not? Why? ...I mean if I have the liberty to have a new life then why can not they? I have to make a decision what probably cause all those people who I care about pain, misery and suffering whether I stay or leave! I yelled, but I could feel her no longer in my head. She left me with my unanswered questions. I broke down and gave out all my misery with my tears and slowly after I calmed my nerves I could feel a new presence beside me.

"My dear Blossom! Don't you think it is time for you to join us again?" Gandalf asked. Soon I heard deep snores next to me and ever so slowly my senses returned. First I felt warm fingertips on my cheek and how the gentle fingers caressed my skin. The warm sun illuminated my eyelids and it filled my heart with glee. And then it happened. I started to open my eyes and as if I was awaken from a goodnight sleep I tried to take in my surroundings. I focused on the first face next to me which belonged to my old friend.

"Gandalf!" I tried to whisper but my voice was raspy after these days. He brought some water in a cup to my lips to drink which I took gratefully. I quickly peeked around to find where the snoring came from, when I noticed my godsons sleeping int the corner of my room.

"Well my dear! You gave us a real scare, but I hope you are all right now." I avoided his searching gaze and buried my face in my hands.

"You knew it!" I muffled my statement through my fingers. The great silence served as an evidence for my words.

"Yes." Was the answer. "I'm sorry." And there was silence again.

"How am I supposed to deal with this?" I asked frightened.

"Hush Blossom! I will help you...all of as will." And he motioned his hands towards the two sleeping forms in the corner as if to ensure that I don't have to deal with this alone.

"No!" I almost shrieked. "No. I don't want them to be involved int this. I must gather my thoughts first about this new situation and alone and I have to discuss things with my father, but I bet he knew this as well as you are." I sat up silently not to wake the lads and outstretched my aching limbs a bit.

"It would be wise to share this with Thorin." He suggested in a fatherly tone. I looked him in the eye in search of the answer why he was so eager to tell my ancestry to the dwarf king. "Don't forget that we were connected when you were unconscious and I do know well that whereas your senses were almost numb, but you could hear his confession." I averted my gaze from his and nodded. "However he was not aware of that." He finished.

"And I just want to keep it that way." He bored his stern eyes to me with disbelief.

"And why is that, if I may ask?" The wizard asked. I looked down at my finger where once the engagement ring was. I kept staring until hot tears covered my face.

"Cause everything I have been trough, everything I believed in...were lies, except Marc. He was there for me when I was miserable and alone. And stayed there all night in my hospital room to gave me comfort...I can not abandon him like this. Cause I know very well that kind of pain." I snapped at him.

"So you have already chosen." He stated with concern.

"I..." I started in a pleading tone but was cut off by loud cheers from Kili and Fili.

"Trisha!...hey..you woke up." Said Kili as he rushed to my side with his brother to gave me a hug. I couldn't stop myself from hugging them back. I gently brushed their heads and gave each a light peck on their forehead. "We thought you ain't gonna make it!" Killi added quickly in a painful voice.

"Hey!..." I cupped his face in my palms and touched our foreheads together while searching his tired eyes. "It's okay now!" He nodded with a shy smile. "You ain't gonna get rid of me that easily." I pointed out and they laughed. I hugged them again to ensure them that I was fine and found how Gandalf stood there in silence examining us. His eyes searched mine knowingly and although we ain't spoke I knew quite well what was on his mind. And to tell the truth he was right. Making my final decision won't be easy I thought to myself when a louder creak attracted my attention as two ice blue eyes bored into mine.


	13. Confessions

Thorin's eyes scanned my body as to assure himself of my well being and after a very long moment he stepped further in the room.

"Trisha!" He whispered with so much emotion in his voice that a lump formed in my throat preventing me from responding. I could feel joy, relief, nervousness and a bit of anger radiating from him. I blushed under his intense stare as he reached my bed and lowered himself on it. Kili laughed happily for our reunion, only his brother and Gandalf noticed the tension between us and remained silent.

"Uncle!...Trisha is back!" He cheered, but he didn't recognized his double-meaning remark. The king looked him in the eye with half smile on his lips,and nodded slightly. After he turned back to me with determination in his blue orbs, I was scared that he might want to talk with me about a very queasy topic and to prevent that I grabbed Kili's hand and grinned at him.

"Yes Kili! And I'm eager to catch up with you guys since I slept through three days already without any connection to the outside world." I said trying to sound excited and even giggled a bit. For my revelation Gandalf chocked on a puff of smoke from his already lit pipe and from the look on our leaders face he was shocked to hear my words as well. The brunette lad looked at me with confusion.

"So you're not remember anything?" He asked with concern. I furrowed my brows.

"Remember what?" I played the ignorant. My gaze met with Gandalf's stern one as he grumbled something under his nose, so that no one could understand. Kili's shoulders sunk with disappointment as he gave a big sigh.

"We were right beside your bed every single moment. Fili and me even slept in the corner so if you wake up then don't get scared." He admitted. I blushed at the thought how my godchildren were watching over me and brushed Kili's cheek.

"It was very kind of you, but I could not be afraid in my ada's house am I?" I teased them and they both gave me a smile. A lifted my gaze to met with their uncles suspicious one but before he could open his mouth to speak the Valars must heard my wish and sent my father as a help.

"Iellig!" _(My daughter!_ ) Elrond said as he entered my room along with Balin, Bofur and Nori at his side. As my eyes met with Nori's he unexpectedly winked at me and half-turned to inform the others outside my room.

" 'Ey boys, our lass is finally awake! " He cheered and for an answer the remaining members of the company rushed in with loud ovations ousting their leaders in the corner. Balin gently sat by my side on the bed while Bofur joined him on my other side taking Kili's place. I almost felt like Snow White in the moment she wakes with all these dwarves around me. I took in all their faces as they gabbled their questions.

"So you've decided to join us again?" I heard Balin's touched voice beside me. I turned my attention fully to him ignoring the others to reply.

"It seems so!" I smiled. From the corner of my eyes I could saw how Bifur signed something to Bofur. He nodded and turned to me. "What did he say?" I asked confused.

"He just told me that there could be great losses during this quest,... but you won't be amongst them... You fought as a mighty dwarf." He added. As much it touched my very soul that he accepted me completely I carried my eyes through the other faces and just as a sign they all nodded at me in agreement. I lowered my gaze to my empty finger before I lifted it back and smiled bitterly at my first great loss. Bofur must noticed my movement and gently took my hand in his.

"Ah, I almost forgot..." He started and fumbled for something in one of his front pockets before he found it and placed it in my palm. "...you lost this little trinket while running." I picked the tiny object between my thumb and forefinger when I recognized my lost engagement ring in it. "It accidentally slipped from your finger when I grabbed your hand on the field." He finished apologetically and I laughed truly for this time as I slipped back the ring on my ring finger.

"Oh Bofur!" I said before I took him in a huge hug still laughing which caused the others to join me." I thought I lost it forever!" I whispered. When I let him go I saw how some of them blinked with interest towards my hand and as usual Ori was the one who voiced their curiosity.

"Miss Lintris!" He started shyly. "What kind of trinket is that you treasure so much?" His question took me by surprise. I haven't informed them that I was about to marry however it was not a secret. Suddenly the room went quiet and my eyes locked with Thorin's expectant ones. As if he had known well what I wanted to admit his features turned dark. I lowered my gaze cause I couldn't bear to look into those eyes and quietly said.

"It's my engagement ring Ori!" I could hear low murmurs around me.

"So..." I heard Dwalin's voice. "...you are betrothed lass?" He asked and peeked over his shoulder to examine our leaders reaction.

"Yes!" I admitted with shame in my voice, when I heard a loud bang from the far corner of my room. We turned our attentions as one to the direction of the sound where Thorin stood seconds ago, only to found it empty. As he left he took the rest of our joy with himself and all I could feel was the awkwardness of my situation. Killi was the one to brake the silence.

"But we thought..."But Fili's left shoulder in his chest stopped him from continuing. I searched for my ada's face with a pleading look and he immediately responded by interjecting.

"I think that much excitement was enough for now. Let Nimril rest." He advised firmly. The dwarves gathered themselves and nodded with understanding, only Balin gave me a disdainful look while Dwalin hadn't looked at me at all. Elrond bent down and kissed my forehead and Gandalf herded the lingering ones out. "We are holding a feast tonight, if you feel enough strength then come and join us." My father told me and left me alone with my frustrated thoughts. I relaxed when the door closed behind them and pulled the blanket over my head. I used to calm myself with that when I was a little child and I needed comfort.

"Gha...and now what?" I mumbled under the blanket. I knew that Thorin was right and after that confession I heard I must face his wrath but was I brave enough for that? I heard the door creaked quietly and someone came in.

"Still you hide under the covers when you feel yourself uncomfortable."My ada stated.

"Kind of!" Was my reply and he gently pulled the cover from my head.

"Tell me why do you feel this way?" He asked as he sat down and took my hands in his.

"Cause I'm scared how they reacted to this..." And I showed my ring to him nervously. They hardly accepted a woman amongst them...hardly recognized me after all these years...and they could hardly understand what I have been through to choose such a fate." I barely noticed the warm tears dropping from my lashes, when I felt Elrond cupped my cheeks.

"Are you talking of them...or are you talking of him?" I looked into those warm gray eyes of his with shock.

"What..." I started but he cut me off.

"Nimril..I may not be your true father but I watched you since you were a little child to grow into a fine lady...and maybe Gandalf was the one who made contact with you first after you've gone,... but I was watching over you...we were watching over you. Haven't you learned anything about our peoples good vision?" He teased me, when he noticed my confused features. "It is much better than Men could ever have ...and it is also enables us to see things that no one else could. Not even you.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I said and tried to sound as respectful as I could, while pulling away from him.

"I know it is hard for you to let your guard down, but you must creep out from your armour and face the truth." He said in a fatherly tone, but his eyes remained gentle.

"And what is that exactly?" I asked and he lifted my gaze to his.

"Admitting that the dwarf king and you have feelings for each other...That you have feelings for him...still!" He pleaded. At this point of our conversation I started to weep silently.

"I can't." I whispered avoiding his eyes.

"And why is that?" He asked with concern.

"Cause he was the one who sent me away 60 years ago. After we kind of shown our affection for each other... he was the one who told me to leave and that I'm Frerin's betrothed however it was not true...and his grandfather was the one who told me to leave forever and never come back caused by tha fact that I could never be a proper match for Throin." I admitted the truth to my ada. Finally this confession liberated my soul from the pain I had over leaving my adoptive family behind without saying goodbye or let them know the reason behind my actions. Elrond nodded with understanding as he lifted my chin to look into his eyes.

"Still, there would be great amount of struggle in your life if you deny your own heart." He stated.

"I know, and I'm learning to accept my choice like a grown woman as you taught me." He blinked in surprise.

"I taught you to escape from your fate?" He asked with disbelief. I was a bit taken aback by his reaction.

"You taught me to live with the consequences of my actions after I made a decision." I defended myself.

"Yes, ...however having two choices and choosing wrong was not my intention." He said with a teasing grin, which I returned with smile.

"You think I'm running..." It was more a statement then a question. His features turned a bit hard.

"I think you are avoiding to face the obvious." He admitted, then straightened himself as he stood from his spot and leaned forward to gave me a peck on my forehead. " Rest now, and we meet at the feast. You certainly find a dress of your liking in your closet." He finished as he closed the door behind him. I couldn't bear the thought of bed anymore, so I took the chance of my own room with it's own washroom and took a bath. The warm water made me shiver as it made contact with my skin but as soon as I used to it my nerves started to relax a bit. I tried to focus on what would be the best for both Thorin and me and I was determined to tell him everything what he asks for. I gathered myself from the surrounding warmth and covered myself with the prepared towel. It felt almost if I have not left at all. My room was clean, and there were new clothes what fitted my womanly curves. As if my ada expected me back home. I choosed a green simple dress with deep cleavage which showed a bit more of my shoulder blades as well. I let my hair down and left my room in search for the others. As I gathered the bottom of my dress to avoid myself from tumbling down the stairs Lindir appeared next to me and gently took my hand in his to lead me down.

" _Adulial vaer h_ _iril vuin!_ (Good evening my lady!)" He said starting our casual conversation.

" _Adulial vaer Lindir!_ _Im gellui le achened! (_ Good evening Lindir! It's good to see you again!) He gave my hand a light squeeze for my comment and smiled brightly.

" _Manon Le? (How are you?)_ He asked with concern as, we reached the terrace where the feast was held. I was shocked by his repressed feelings in his tone and turned my gaze in search of my father. He was seated by the head of the great table and when he noticed me he nodded towards his guests as to gave some sign that I was finally present and all of a sudden Thorin's gaze was on me. I blushed and turned back to Lindir and gave him my answer.

" _Im maer!_ (I am fine!)" He stepped closer a bit, but I lowered my gaze not to encourage him to do something reckless as I could never reciprocate his feelings. He noticed my hesitation and heard Thorin's angry thumping from afar and cupped my face in his palms.

" _Law lin sila sui Ithil!_ " (You shine like the moon!) He stated and gave Thorin a stern look.

" _Boe annin mened_!" (I must go!) I said and gently freed myself from his hands, but he caught my wrist one last time.

"You are beautiful..in and out! Never let anyone make you doubt that!" He finished and gave a stern look to the dwarf leader before he gave me a bow. I looked after him for a few second and haven't noticed my ada's presence just when he took my hand and led me to my seat next to him. A low murmur escaped from his lips when he noticed something new to his eyes on me, but let me be for this time. There were loud whistles from others for my appearance and I could feel Thorin's bewildered gaze as I lowered myself on my seat with my back to him. I gave a shy nod to the others and finally turned to face with my ada and Gandalf. My adoptive father frowned and looked dissatisfied by the way he measured me from head to toe from the other side of the table. I gave him a questioning look.

"I see you have found a dress fit to you..." He started almost too quietly and I almost chimed in thanking him his compliment when he continued. "...however it shows a very different...well... side of you." He finished with a simple glance towards the others. I blinked in surprise, when suddenly it blopped in my head. I have totally forgot about my tattoo stretching out on my right shoulder blade for everyone to see in this dress.

"Shit! I breathed and turned my head to face with Thorin's staring eyes. His gaze memorized every inch of my inked skin with a mixture of lust and disbelief. When our eyes met I lowered my gaze abruptly just like he did. A straightened myself in my seat while stretching out for my glass of wine and finished it with one gulp. It caused another cheer from the dwarfs and a new disapproving look from my father.

"Well another new thing to learn about you." He said in a fatherly tone. "Anything else?" Elrond asked. After this amount of elven wine for my empty stomach caused me to shrug my shoulder nonchalantly.

"I used to dance under the moon in my undergarments waiting for its rays turning my bare skin into fur and to become a wild monster." I said like it was nothing. I found my fathers mouth fall open and how the others fell into silence when a deep laugh erupted from Thorin's chest which caused the other members of the company to join him.

"Indeed, there is a lot to take in." My father added simply and raised his glass as to show is acceptance and respect.

"You know a lot has happened ..." I confessed in a hushed tone, but unfortunately I wasn't as quiet as I wanted, since I could hear how the others stopped chatting between each other just to listen. "I have changed... my life has changed and finally I found someone who accepted me the way I am...living together with Marc is so easy, there is nothing unpredictable around us.." I haven't noticed how easily I blurted my life out openly but couldn't finished my sentence, when Gandalf chimed in.

"So you are bored!" He stated mockingly, and I gasped at him. This was the moment when all the company started to ask their curious questions.

"What did you mean by living with your betrothed?" Kili asked bluntly. I felt like a wave of guilt washed over me over our land's habits. I slightly turned to look him in the eye but carefully avoid his uncle's gaze.

"Well Kili, in my world when a woman wants to marry a man, it is the best way to decide if it's worth it or not. It is kind of a trial...you can live with you chosen one like real husband and wife before the wedding... in any sense." I added with bright red blush. I could feel all their eyes on me.

"You mean.." Fili started, but I cut him off.

"Yes...in any sense!" I stated abruptly cause I didn't want him to finish his question. I already knew what he wanted to ask like all the others around me.

It suddenly followed by Bofur who found it as a chance to leap into action. He jumped on the table and started his favorite song. Soon all the others clapped their hands and chanted the lyric with him when I noticed how their leaders stood from his seat and walked farther away from my place as to gain some distance between us. It seemed like he wanted avoid me. I felt that my new decision weakened to tell him everything he wanted to know. My mood has become miserable when a gentle hand on my shoulder demanded my attention.

"When I told you we need more light I meant it in every single way possible." Gandalf told me gently and motioned with his head towards the now empty place of the disappeared king. I sighed and finally found my strength to follow Thorin. During my search in the house I got frustrated and angry over his behavior which gave me the well needed courage to speak with him. As I walked around twenty minutes without success I found a nearly opened door of one of the many bedchambers and I peaked in. There he was standing on the balcony of probably his chambers, marveling into the distance. I dared to step in the room and silently closed the door after myself. He didn't even turned to face his intruder.

"I wish to speak with you." I offered in a businesslike voice, while I stepped closer to him. When he didn't respond after a few minutes all my gathered thoughts vanished and I stood there humiliated like a small child before his father admitting her pranks. " I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry to hide my betrothed from you, but it was the best idea back then." I could sense his rage as I admitted that I'm going to be married soon or was it over me being with an other man intimately? "C'mon you can not be mad at me forever... You should be happy for me...you must say that congrats and so... after all the hardships I've been through..." Thorin still showed his back to me so I walked next to him. " Hey...I'm talking to you...don't show your back to me...you are ridiculous and childish. After all he was the one there for me whenever I was in need. I never thought that I would come back here again, nor to see you. At least try to understand my point of view..." Ever so slowly he turned and faced me with his intens gaze."...I was scared and alone...no family...no friends...no love...until there were no hope for me either...and there was only one thing left for me in order to survive.

"What?" He sneered. I sighed but held his gaze.

"Denial. " I confessed sadly. " I slowly convinced myself that it was the product of my imagination... my creation, after how my parents treated me. My surrounding started to accept the fact that finally I cooperate with them and my healing achieved its final goal. And for the good results I must denied all the thing happened here...Middle-Earth's existence , my friends, my adventures, my adoptive family...and even you. Back in my world you were nothing but a mere fictional character of my imagination...I'm sick of being tortured by something I can not have." I almost whispered the last words of my monologue. All his body were tense and I almost missed the determination on his features after my last sentence, when he straightened himself as he strode to me while he grabbed me by my nape and kissed me roughly. With his movements he pushed me into the nearby wall just like when I was 16. He wrapped his left arm around my waist while his other hand still holded me in one place. When he hungrily bit my lower lip I opened my mouth just to feel how his tongue act on this chance and slipped in, to intertwine with mine and all my resistance was gone. That wast the moment when I felt how his arms lifted me from the ground so that he could fold my thighs around his waist with my dress curled up to my hips and after a few unmistakable fumbling I could feel how easily he draw aside my undergarment and slipped into me with one hard trust making me shiver with a big moan. When he pulled himself away a bit we hold each others gaze, panting heavily.

"Is this just your imagination?" He breathed in my face but before I could react he captured my lips with his again.


	14. Heritage

I gasped when he slowly slid out and trust back into me with more force then before. As he moaned into my neck while covering it with open mouth kisses finally he lifted his head to look into my face. I could see the hurt in his eyes from that fact that he wasn't the first man in my life but also I could feel the radiating and adoring affection which he was so desperate to hide from me and even from himself until now,... until this very moment when he could be with me as he confessed only few hours ago. But our time had come to it's end when an abrupt knock gained our full attention.

"Thorin,... Lord Elrond wants to talk to ya'." We heard Dwalin's voice as he rushed into his leader's lobby. Thorin grumbled something in khuzdul which I didn't exactly understand, but I had my suspicions.

"Coming!" He yelled before Dwalin could get any closer and find out what we were doing, and slowly slid out of, while adjusting my undergarments along with his clothes and put me down. I looked into his worried eyes and gave him an encouraging smile. He gave me an apologetic look before he rushed out from our secret spot and joined Dwalin. As I heard the slamming door and their receding footsteps as they get more distant; I came out of my hiding place with hurry and without any thinking stepped out of the room, when I bumped into someone.

"What's the big rush, my dear!" I heard Gandalf's cheerful voice, as he lifted my chin up to force my already blushed cheeks to betray me more.

"I.." I blurted, but couldn't bear his searching eyes and turned my face from his. He just stood there silently for a second examining me.

"I see!" He stated so obviously that I had to look back at him.

"What!" I barked in a not too feminine manner.

"So you have finally arranged !" He said and pointed his finger to my neck. I became crimson red as I have realized what he might just found. _"BLOODY HELL! I screamed inside. Did he just made me a love mark?_ I tried to cover it with my palm and saw the hint of satisfaction in my old mentors eyes. I've got mad, not just because I was flushed and sexually frustrated after not finishing anything at all, but also the one person I didn't want this to know was staring at me.

"You old monk...you know nothing!" I spat at him with rage,but couldn't hurt him at all. He still had his spark in his eyes that I know from old times, that he knows something important and wouldn't share it with me any time soon. But just as soon his mirth came it disappeared, when his eyes got stern and distant.

"We must arrange you preparation Blossom!...Soon...We can not waist more time further." And before I could protest, he rushed after Thorin.

And there I was. Alone again with my unspoken words lingering in my head. I gathered myself and walked to my once secret spot in the nearby woods,near my ada's house. Lazily I walked into the river which crossed the meadow, and without caring over my dress I looked at my reflection. The girl who looked back was scared and confused. She was not the woman who left the other world to help her friends . Although I was in my "home" I felt lonely.

"Looking at your own reflection won't help ya' find the answer ya seek..." I heard a rough voice from behind. "..but jumping righ' in the middle would do." I heard Dwalin's chuckle, but when he got no reaction to his words he jumped in the river himself and walked next to me. His harsh action stirred the water up so much that I couldn't find my image on the water-plane anymore. He gently reached for my left hand and silently stroked my wound. "Sometimes what we're looking for is within hand's reach...maybe these things are so simple that other's would never guessed what they mean to us but we do know...a wound for example." I looked at his face but he was so deep in thought that I didn't want to ruin one of his big moments. "I thought that we would never see ya' again...and here you ar'...all grown, and strong." I gave him a week smile before he cupped my cheeks with his palms and made me to look into his eyes.

"Don't!" I whispered. He looked at me confused."Don't make me feel wanted or worthy." I continued. As I finished my sentence realization shone in his eyes and he raised his eyebrows angrily. I dropped my eyes from his features in embarrassment. "I'm lost.

"No!" He stated. "You're confused and scared...but never lost. You are where you should be. Right here with your company, .. with your godchildren...and with Thorin. And don't ya' give me that look youngling. " Hearing his nickname he gave me years ago I couldn't help myself and started to laugh from the bottom of my heart.

"Oh Dwalin! I'm flattered. So does it means what I think it means?" He shortly grumbled something under his mustache in khuzdul about difficult women, but slowly he smiled as well. We were distracted by distant voices from the house and I could see Thorin and others like Gandalf and Balin walking out to the balcony of my fathers house. Dwalin followed my gaze and got a glimpse of how our eyes met briefly before I tear mine away.

"Ya' know, it was difficult for me to accept the idea of an outsider amongst us back then...when his fater told me to train ya'.." And he pointed with his thumb behind his back towards Thorin. I was surprised and a bit sad over what I heard, but before anything got worse he continued. "But after our first lesson it was gone. I saw how desperate you tried to do the things right and you succeeded. I've never told ya' this, but I was proud of you...I am proud of ya' Mimur!..And Mahal knows I did pull for you two!" I was shocked to hear this from my former trainer, but then shock transformed into a gentle warm feeling. First in my stomach and slowly it grows and reached my lungs filled my heart and slowly moved to my hands. And after a very long pause my eyes drifted to the setting sun as it caressed my skin with it's rays and it was then, when I realized my fingertips was glowing. " _Oh my God!_ I thought to myself.

"Sorry!" I said and started to run back to the house but haven't missed how Gandalf and Dwalin looked at each other and how the old wizard gave a grateful nod to the dwarf behind me and I haven"t missed Thorin's scared look. When I almost reached the gardens with my sloppy dress an arm pulled me back slightly from stepping into the house.

"And what is this supposed to mean?" I heard Elrond's confused voice probably for my appearance in such state. As we were standing face to face with my ada I saw the others from the balcony reached us and tried to follow the events. As for this, ada changed the language into sindarin. He didn't want his guests to be involved in this. " Man agóreg?" (What did you do?). I shut my eyes. "Iellig!" (My daughter!) "An gell nîn." (Please.) I Gave his hand a gentle squeeze but couldn't bear to be near him after discovering the truth and my newcome identity. So I just bowed and went to my chamber without saying a word. When I closed my doors I walked to my balcony and raised my eyes to look into the sun again. I needed time to figure things out. I lifted my hands up to see if they started to shine again, but nothing happened. I leaned over to the doorframe and gazed ahead me. My mind slowly drifted to the memories of this days events: Finally waking up... talking to Galadriel...learning what I am...the fiest...Thorin's eyes as he scanned my bare skin and my tattoo...hunger...his kiss...how he filled me. And before I noticed it happened again, just before I heard a law gasp behind me.

"What are you thinking now?" Gandalf asked, as he lightly grabbed my glowing hand in his.

"Gandalf." I asked confused. " I didn't hear you coming." He watched me carefully before letting my now normal looking hand down. He looked into my eyes as if he wanted to read my thoughts, but I avoided his searching gaze. "Me?" I asked in my embarrassment. "Nothing in particular...really."

"Interesting." Was all he said. " Meet me at dawn tomorrow. We shell find out what else you can do beside glowing hands." He said before patting my shoulder and gathering himself to leave.

"Gandalf!" I whispered after him. He turned back to me again with questions in his eyes. "I can't do it." I admitted.

"Doing what? Standing by the doorframe or changing your clothes for dry ones? Or.."

"NOOO...you're not listening to me." I stopped him childishly and even stamped my foot on the floor. He turned his full body towards me and smiled gently.

"I am listening to you Blossom! Open up your heart and tell me what do you feel!" I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. After I calmed myself I started to tell him the first words what came to my mind.

"Weight...loss...fear...anger." I felt warm fingers caressed my closed eyelids, and suddenly a new sensation overwhelmed me: hope! But as soon as I opened my eyes with confusion the feeling was gone. I was standing face to face with my old friend and all the feelings were gone. Not just the bad but the good ones either. "Emptiness." I said finally "What if I can't do this?" I asked and looked him in the eye.

"If anyone can do it, then it is you my dear!" He said

" I doubt it." I added.

"To doubt something is like to fear in advance from the unknown. You shouldn't do that." He said and started to leave.

"Gandalf!" I shout after him again. He stopped in mid-motion and looked back at me.

"Hm?" He raised one of his eyebrows.

"Thank you." I could see confusion in his eyes so I clarified my gratitude. "For sending Dwalin after me." But he still acted confused. "Don't look at me like that. I saw your shared glimpse. I know you talked him into this." I chuckled. He just shrugged and grabbed my door handle before he gave me a meaningful wink.

"Perhaps. And I think you should change. These wet clothes won't fit such a lady. Oh, and before I forget, the others are looking for you. They'd like to give you a proper welcome after what happened." And with that he left.

"Old nutcase!" I laughed to myself and headed to my wardrobe. I found a white lace evening gown with law neckline but modest enough not to challenge a certain dwarf's mood. After I found myself presentable I peeked out to avoid other elves from the household and followed the voices of cheerful laughter at the backyard where the company decided to build their own camp and lit a bonfire. When I emerged from the shadows they greeted me with loud ovation and flying sausages and I had to lean out from their way.

" 'Ey..you supposed to catch that not to duck." Bofur yelled disbelievingly. From the corner of my eyes I could see Bombur rushing past me and grabbed the fallen sausage, then triumphantly raised it high, before dropping it into his mouth.

"Jesus!" I said disgustedly.

"Waste nothing!" He cheered full mouthed, when Kili and Fili found their way to me and leaded me to their sitting spot, where all kind of instruments were piled up.

"What are these for?" I asked cautiously.

"Ey folks the lassie don't know what to do with these!" Nori laughed and made my mood swung from confused to furious. I could tell by one glance that the rest of the company were so drunk that couldn't differentiate their heads from their butts but still it hurts me nonetheless. Before I could respond I heard a law chuckle from behind and his unmistakable baritone.

"I think the lady knows very well what to do with such an instrument to make it sing." Thorin said teasingly which caused a shiver down my spine and the heat started to build up inside me once again. Our eyes locked and I barely recognized the others full hearted laughter around us after his double-meaning words. He cornered me before he barely brushed his body to mine to reach behind me for his harp. I gasped at the feeling of his closeness and lowered my gaze to avoid being caught, but I felt calloused fingers under my chin.

"Don't you dare hide your eyes from me again." He commanded in a low husky voice ment only for my ears to hear. When I lifted my orbs to meet his I could see his joy and long lost playfulness.

"Are you teasing me my lord?" I whispered. His thumb ghosted over my lower lip and his gaze lingered on them with hunger. I could sense how desperately he tried to hold himself back in front of the others.

"You were not at the meeting." He changed the subject for relief.

"I had chores to do, but I think ada helped you to find the answer you seek." I smiled sadly. He immediately noticed my mood change and got distant.

"Indeed!" Ha answered and turned his back at me walking to his spot with his instrument. I didn't want to push him away with my elven heritage nor with such a sensitive topic which was so dear to his heart. But I felt I must stay away from him until I know where I'm heading. Still, I felt I devastate our moment. I watched him preparing his harp and started to play one of his kin's slow ballad of old times in their secret language. I heard how the others joined him with their own instruments. It was beautiful. For one single moment he looked in my direction but cast his eyes down abruptly. My boys gathered themselves and accompanied me with understanding smile plastered to their faces as they made me to sit down with them. Fili embraced my shoulder while singing, never missing his uncle's rithm. Kili just reached for my hand and squeezed it as if he was afraid that he would lose me forever. I smiled at their devoted love for such a humble being like me. And I was grateful for the first time for being here. As the song started to fade away Thorin gathered himself and bid goodnight to the others. I waited for him to turn and talk to me but he didn't. I slowly stood from my sitting position and got past him to reach my destination. He eagerly followed my movements when he noticed where I was going. Only few steps far from their camp was a large harp illuminated by the moon in a clear visible area. I slowly sat myself down behind it and touch the strings. Back home there was a song which fitted my love for him. And I decided that this was the occasion that I should show him. What it truly means to me to be near him after all what happened, and gently I started to sing.

Something always brings me back to you  
It never takes too long  
No matter what I say or do  
I'll still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone

(I heard how the others stirred to get a better look, but all I could see was his ice blue eyes filled with unspoken words)

You hold me without touch  
You keep me without chains  
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love  
And not feel your reign

Set me free, leave me be  
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity  
Here I am, and I stand  
So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be  
But you're on to me and all over me

Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile  
When I thought that I was strong  
But you touch me for a little while  
And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be  
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity  
Here I am, and I stand  
So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be  
But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see  
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground  
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go  
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down  
You're keeping me down, eh ooh  
You're on to me, on to me, and all over

Something always brings me back to you  
It never takes too long

I was afraid to look up and met his gaze, but when I finally did he was rooted to his previous spot. He didn't say a word just staring at me, when I heared a week voice next to me.

"That was enchanting Blossom." I heard Bilbo's compliment and I had to force myself to turn away from the leader's shocked features.

"Thank you Bilbo!" I gave him a week smile which faded immediately as soon as I noticed Thorin's absence.

"Maybe it wasn't a good idea after all!" I murmured under my nose, when I saw Balin sat next to me.

"Give him time. He only realized today that you came back. It's still hard to get used to it for myself." Balin said. I gave him a nod and excused myself. When I left him alone on the bench I heard him sigh deeply before saying.

"Kids!" I almost chuckled at his words. But he was right in some ways. We both could act like children, and with that final thought in my head I went to my chamber leaving the others to get rid of their drunkeness.

(Sara Bareilles: Gravity)


	15. Unleash

"I can't!" I shouted feebly at my mentors. Gandalf puffed a ring of smoke in the air and said.

"Again!" That was all he says over and over again from the very first moment we met at a silent and secret meadow where he led me for training. Radagast has joined us as well as a second mentor for my istari tuition. He slowly sneaked to the sitting grey wizard and whispered.

"Gandalf, we shell tell Saruman, that a blue wizard has returned. He could help her to use her powers." Mithrandir sighed deeply before closing his eyes and turning to face his friend.

"No my fellow Radagast! I would not involve him in unless I had no other option!" He said bitterly with a hint of sadness in his voice before he looked back at my tired features as I tried to make my hands glow again like I did yesterday. Radagast followed his gaze and smiled at me sympathetically.

"What's the purpose of making my hand glow. Why don't you just teach me some spells I need to know to defence the others? Or how can I make fire with a single snap of my fingers?" He looked at me like I've gone mad. "What?" I looked at him frustrated.

"Bearing the weight of being a wizard is not just chanting spells and snap one's fingers." He grumbled disbelievingly. "We have a mission here in Middle-earth. We have to fight the evil and help the week. We bring the balance of light and dark in this world, but never give in to the temptation of power. We could be kind, frightening, wise or martial. You must be worthy for this being and for this task." He sighed heavily. He looked much older then he was. Maybe my training exhausted him as well. He was a very kind and gentle soul, but he could be threatening if he wants to. I saw disappointment on his features before he rise from his sitting position and walked away from me and Radagast. I looked confused at the other wizard but he hushed my rising temper, just when Elrond reached us.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked looking at both of them.

"I talk to him." Was the brown wizard's answer and rushed after his fellow ,while ada gathered my hand in his.

"You did nothing wrong Iellig." He said gently and touched his forehead to mine. "It's just he never needed to train a wizard before. They came to our world together with possessed powers of their own. They didn't have to learn how to unleash it cause they already knew.

"I know, but I don't know what did he expect?" I asked quietly and hugged Elrond.

 ************ Gandlaf's POV****************************************

Radagast sat himself on the log next to me and started to twiddle with his hands. I took a deep breath and marveled into the rising sun.

"I just can't make her do this!" I murmured.

"Don't be so harsh on her, she's trying very hard." He said defensively.

"No my dear friend..." I started. "I mean I don't want her to be involved in this...She has suffered enough already. I saw the helplessness in her eyes,just like when she was abounded by me in her world and there were no one who helped her to understand what is about to come next. I thought that it would be easier for her, but I can't hide no longer...I've left her because it was easier for me...because I was afraid, that I would let Alatar down. That I won't be able to train her like I should...and now I fooled Blossom into this life-threatening quest." I forced back some tears and looked at Radagast. "And now the only thing I want for her to be happy...have a normal life, have family...but not like this. She deserves to have everything what she couldn't because our selfish behavior." Radagast looked scared and I knew quite well that he couldn't handle emotional outburst of humans. He used to the fauna more then human beings and didn't know what to do or say. I tried my best and gave him an encouraging smile before I gathered myself up from the log and that's when I spotted a simple, smooth, 10 inch long branch laying peacefully near my foot.

"Of course." I murmured and bend down for it.

"What's that for?" I heard Radagast.

"This ... my friend..would be her supporter." I answered and went back to where Blossom was. I forced back my usual careless mood and enlaced my hand with it's treasure behind my back. "When the five wizards entered the realm of Middle-earth we all had our supporter. Maybe if she gets hers, then she won't feel herself so helpless." I finished my thoughts and rushed back to my pupil.

 **************** Trisha's POV************************************************

I lifted my gaze when I heard his thundering footsteps and looked into his determined features. I sighed and leaned away from my fathers encouraging embrace.

"I think I am too tired to continue." I admitted to Gandalf. He stepped in front of me and said.

"Again!" I looked at him with disbelief.

"Whoa there.. I just said I am too tired and you just came up with this?" I blurted out.

"Again!" Was all he said. I tried to look for the other wizard's support only to find he was marveling into the distance, perfectly avoiding my gaze. I grunted my teeth and concentrated on my hands. But as I expected, nothing happened, when Gandalf grabbed my outstreched hand with his.

"No...not like this..you should not concentrate on your hand..you must concentrate from inside...on your feelings." His words echoed in my head mind with anger when I suddenly pulled my right hand away and watched in surprise how my palm started to shimmer in the dim light.

"How..?" I started but my mentor interrupted me.

"What were you thinking of when it happened?"

"I don't really know...it just happened...but..wait. I felt..." I tried to understand the happenings.

"What did you feel?

"Anger!" I looked at him in the eyes and found him examining me as he found something but then he frowned and tightens his grip on my other hand.

"Blossom!" He said my name as a plea..almost a pray that it scared me. "I wan't you to concentrate on your anger again."

"What...why?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I don't understand it myself, but it seems your feelings could be the key to unleash your powers...and the only feeling what comes to you naturally is my greatest burden, but still we have to use it for our own good this time." When he didn't get the respond he grabbed me by my shoulders and force me to look him in the eye. From the corner of my eyes I could se how Elrond wanted to intervene for my protection but one look from my old wizard was enough to make him stand still, before his gaze bore into mine once again. "Remember how you felt when you were forbidden to pass between the two realms?" Slowly my eyes were clouded with long lost memories from those days. Those memories hit me like I have benn punched right in my gut. I could see them as clearly as they're happening right in front of my eyes. I could see myself and Thorin on his balcony back in Erebor. I could feel the betrayal as he was holding that dwarrowdame. I could feel how his grandfather's words burned my very soul. I could feel how warm tears started to roll down my cheeks. And then I noticed not only my palms were glowing but my whole hand. I tried to focus on Gandalf's features, but he tightened his grip and pushed my mind further as he shouted at me."Show me if you belong here!" His words hurt like hot knife cut through my sensitive skin. It was the very sentence I hate to hear not only from my enemies, but hearing it from my mentors mouth was more then enough to swing my mood into pure rage. I started to scream in agony as a new memory came to surface, of Thror, of my parents who abandoned me long ago. My body started to burn and tho only thing I could think of was yesterday's farewell.

 ***********************Flashback (after the bonfire in Trisha's room) ******************************************************

" _You did not come after me!" I heard Thorin's disappointed voice behind my door as I entered my chamber. I gave a small squeak in my surprise._

 _"Thorin! I didn't know we had an arranged meeting." I said with as much fake playfulness I could master in my state. I was confused and scared of what could come next. Despite my attempts he noticed my mask and gently brushed my cheeks in comfort as he stepped closer. His touch burned my very soul and made my heart aflame with desire and long lost love, that I leaned into his palm. He chuckled silently and bent down to capture my lips in a loving kiss. It was so natural. It felt so right. I almost gave in when I recognized how he slowly backed me to my bed, but fate kept a different outcome to this night. As I kissed him back with all the passion I felt for him I became aware of some strange light through my eyelids. When I opened my eyes during our kiss I could saw how beautifully my engagement ring shone in the candlelit room gathering just enough glaze to gleam like this. I pulled away forgetting completely where I was and faced with the king's incomprehensible look. He captured my face in his palm._

 _"What troubles you Mimur?" He whispered lovingly. And that was the breaking point. I started to cry._

 _"I am so sorry!" He tried to get closer again but I stepped back to gain some distance. I could tell how frightened he was over my reaction. "But I can't do this." In one blink of an eye I could see how he face fell and how distant he got after my confess. He completely understand what I meant. He looked at me once more with betrayal, hurt, and almost pure hatred as he pulled something small from his pocket and throw it before my feet as he said._

 _" I release you from your further services for our company. We shell never meat again!" Then left me alone in my chamber. I tried to gather myself to follow him and tell him how I felt and how I didn't want to be a burden in his life while I was certain that I should get home to my world, to Marc. I kneeled down to grab the trinket he technically throw at me and found my long lost hair clip with the significant bird on it. I brushed it's surface with my thumb and I could tell how well he must have taken care of it for it was too shiny to be look old, and for me it was much more then a confession of his feelings. I collapsed on the floor and cried my very soul out in my helplessness._

 ************************ End of flashback*****************************************************************************************

With these intense feelings whirling inside me I could only scream in my frustration and I screamed in my pain as Gandalf pushed me over the edge and I could feel there is no turning back now. My body trembled and collapsed as I could not hold back what brought me to my knees. Despite the fact that I felt anger I could feel I'm loaded up with so much energy which trying to break free from it's cage. Gandalf still had his tight grip on my hand while he said' _Think of your days in the hospital room!' and_ with one final scream a great white light broke out from my body and smashed the nearby rock into peaces and blown the others away from me. I gasped for fresh air but it didn't filled my lungs and I was nearly conscious, but trough my half open eyelids I could see how the grey wizard kneeled next to me and put a simple branch in my palm.

"There! ...This will be your supporter. As one of our kin it will help you to focus your power into one place to use it properly without doing more damage then you want." I looked at the small branch as my life depended on it and did what my old friend repeated to me in the last two hours: concentrate. Then it suddenly started to twirl and grow into a nicely craved smoked brown staff. I closed my eyes and with the help of my newly created companion I supported myself in a standing position and puffed a huge amount of air out of my lungs to give out my remnant anger, what Gandalf could clearly still saw in my orbs, when I straightened myself. As I looked around to find my ada's and Radagast's frightened features I turned my face towards my staff and examined it for a few seconds before a new image came to my mind. I knocked it twice on the ground, when suddenly it shrinked into a small wound, just to be more easy to deal with. I turned my head to find Mithrandir staring at me with an almost pride mixed with fear complexion, as I said.

"Now! There is a mission we must deal with." I stated and started to lead the others back to the house, where my true teaching could finally start. The others were so shocked that no one dared to say a single word just followed me to the library.

Days have passed and I found myself staring out one of the library's windows what became my second bedroom for the time of my training. The wizards showed me old books about their history and how one could use it's power, but it seemed my development stopped at one point. I felt emotionally drained. The scratching of a nearby chair waked me from my daydreaming as someone sat next to me.

"I suppose you here to fill my head with knowledge!" I said sardonically and played with my newly made wand in my hands not looking at my tutor.

"No! ...I'm here to give you what I should have gave earlier." Gandalf said and pulled my hand away from my wand and to gain my full attention. I looked at him curiously, but stayed silent. "I'm sorry...that I pushed you so far...over the edge. ...and I must have said that I am proud of you weather you learn to use your magic or not." He admitted and with that, all my numbness was gone. I smiled at him for the first time in days. I noticed how I could project my feelings with a single glowing hand, but I mastered to hide it and use it other ways, like when a single peace of paper started to burn with small flames just because my frustration over learning some spells. So we realized that I was an emotional wizard, witch or whatever, but if I concentrate on my feelings weather it's good or bad, I could unleash my powers. The problem was that it didn't always come in the form we wanted it to come. However day by day it was easier to made contact with my magic and by now I could feel how it emerged from the depths of my soul to my fingertips. Elrond and Radagast were very pleased with my progress but Gandalf wasn't. As a thought came to my mind my smile got wider and I touched my friend's old temple with my two hands. I closed my eyes and started to concentrate on my happy feelings for him. I heard a small gasp from him and I pulled my fingers away.

"Sorry!" I said, but he grabbed my hands.

"No!" He smiled and put my hands back to their former places on his temple. "Show me again!" He pleaded. And that's what I did, so I focused on old memories with him when I was a young girl and he showed me Middle-earth for the first time with my grandpa. I could see old my memories with my imagination, when suddenly Gandalf started to laugh. I pulled away abruptly and looked at him curiously. "Sorry my dear! But it was magnificent. I have never thought I could see your grandfather again." I looked at him with a shocked expression on my face. " Blossom...you just showed me your memories!" He cheered. My mouth fell open for that statement. I could project my memories to others. It was a very new talent for me to cope with. "But now...we are needed elsewhere."Gandalf added and shook me out of my thoughts. I looked at him with concern.

"But Gandalf! I'm still learning...a don't think I could be usefull in a fight." I said in a whisper. Ha smiled and said.

"Oh my dear girl! You are so much more than you give yourself credit for." And he leaned in to gave me one of his grandfatherly hugs. " You are a very talented fighter and now you have a new weapon to use beside your rented bow and you have..."

"This!" I heard ada's voice from behind as he outstretched my nicely crafted thin elven blade towards me." You will need it on the field." He added and gave me a sad smile. "I'm going to miss you Nimril." I looked at them with disbelief.

"I don' get it..he doesn't even want me to be in this quest nor he wants me to be near him." I stated.

"For the love of Illuvatar child, he pushed you away for his own reason but it's nothing to do with you being a part of Middle-earth now." The gray wizard blurted out. "You are one of the Istari now and for this you must do what you need to. It's in our how they say it in your world,...job description." I started to laugh at his words, and stood from my sitting position.

"Well then!...I must get ready."

"Indeed, but first, as one of our blue wizards you must symbolize what your kin represents." Elrond chimed in and motioned behind his back as on of the elven maids brought some blue materials in front of us. "These clothes would match for a strong blue wizard." He sad and gave me a full set of new clothing in different shades of blue. The pants were black but otherwise the corset and the shirt even the cape were a deep, rich, royal blue only the shades were a bit different. They were made in a typical elven elegant style only for me. "And this.." Elrond started and grabbed on of my hands with his to put some small jewelry box in it. "...will match for my beautiful Iellig!" I examined the small box, and opened it with curiosity. In the box there was a single peace of tiny stone in a color that could be familiar of a moon stone, but it was brighter and it craved my full attention. I couldn't resist and take it in my palm when all of a sudden it started to shine like the sun itself. I couldn't tear my eyes from it. It was enchanting, something I haven't seen before amongst my fathers possession. As I hold it in my hand it told me it's origin through visions and it seemed my magic got stronger with the stone in my hand. When I came to my senses I looked directly at my father.

"You can not give me this!" I whispered with fear. "It's not our kin's possession, I am not rightful for a silmaril." Elrond just grabbed my hand and folded my fingers around the gem.

"It is only a remainder of one of the stones from the time when Maglor threw one into the see. But in his rage he threw it so hard that a single small piece broke down from it and my father found it during one of his journeys. I kept it cause I believed in someone who can deal with it's power. And now the time has came for me to pass it to someone who is herself the white light. That is why I gave you your name Nimril. You are the white light in our life and maybe you do not feel that way but you are indeed worthy of it." And with that he placed the tiny nail size gem on my forehead. As he did that I closed my eyes and could see how far Thorin and the others have gone and could clearly see the danger they are heading to.

"They are in danger!" I stated and Gandalf nodded in understanding and started to gather his belongings when I had a vision of Galadriel and my old friend's conversation. "What about the white council?" I asked. Elrond and Mithrandir just looked at each other while Gandalf gave me the answer.

"Taken care of...for now! But we must not delay." I nodded and took the stone from my forehead and put it in one of my pocket on my new clothes. I must keep it somewhere near me so I can use it's powers whenever I need it. After the small talk with my mentor and father I could feel how the new quest filled my body with energy and even felt how my power finally obey my will. Whit this recognition I could be help in the quest and not be a burden at all. I hurried and changed into my clothing.


End file.
